Greater Things

Hello blog world. Oh how I have neglected you. Well I do feel that there is much to update on. First of all, the most exciting news...I am now a part of church planting! My last blog spoke about the beginnings of perhaps being a part of this. It has now come into play and I was right about feeling the nudge from God. He threw me in full fledged, and I am soo excited about greater things that have yet to come. I have become part of a ministry called Rhythm that happens in Roanoke on Thursday nights. It came from going to this that I really felt the tug on my heart to follow our leader into this church vision. I am ready and geared to be a part of a body that is going to be diving deep into the Word and disciple others whole-heartedly! I have come to know many people from going to Rhythm. Great friendships are being made and I love that! I just cannot believe that I ever worried that I was going to be this lonely, sad person over the summer. The exact opposite has happened! What a wonderful gift!

On a more serious note, things is my family are really going through a shift. My mom is getting re-married. If I am being completely honest, which most of the time I am, I am dealing with this the best I know how. I completely support my mom and could not be more happy for her. But with every step that she takes in moving forward, it slowly kicks my dad out of the picture. This is the way it should be for her, but it stinks for the kids. I do like the man she is going to marry. He treats her well and makes her happy. No one could ask for better. He is a great leader and I know that he will support her in anything she does. He pretty much does not possess much that my dad did, which is good or else there would be a comparison game. He is a lot quieter than my dad though which is totally weird. I get my loud mouth from my dad so I'm not used to the house being so quiet! haha. But whatever, new things!
Also, as of this week, my family has gotten some rather scary news. There is a chance that my sister has cancer. The doctor wants her to get an MRI because he is basically looking for cancer in her back. Unfortunately her insurance is not wanting to cover it, so it has become a nightmare. Luckily, our doctor has graciously taken over and become fight club on the insurance on our behalf. There is definitely the chance that she does not have cancer, but of course this does scare me that she might. I just cannot imagine going through this all over again. I have tried to keep my attitude up, to just put my Trust in the Lord that everything is going to work out, but it is totally hard. So if you read this, please pray. I will try to update on this topic more often so that you may know what is going on.

All in all, life is wonderful! God is good and I am so excited to see how He works because either way, it will be for His glory!

Thoughts Needing Discernment

Recently a good friend of mine described perfectly by saying I am an all or nothing type individual. How true this is. Being this type of person has its pros and cons. What I have found to be a major con is I am too quick to become energetic about visions or decisions. I do feel that I have a knack for discernment in terms of knowing pretty quickly whether something will be right or wrong. The downfall is I will jump into a situation without getting God's thoughts on the matter. Sometimes it turns out fine and the Lord gives me wisdom as I dive right in. Most of the time though, I should have taken the time to really pray about something before going into the unknown. So here is me slowing down to really process and ask for discernment and wisdom about a situation that I am extremely excited about. This morning I did not go to church because I did not sleep well last night and felt sick. So instead I started listening to a few podcasts. I came upon a podcast of this "church" that I have gone to a few times that I have really loved. I say "church" because they do not consider themselves a church, better a community of believers who gather together to preach and worship the Lord. After all, that is what church is anyways. I think we have gotten caught up in the word "church" and "religion" too much and have missed what having a true desire and relationship with Christ is...that can be another blog. Anyways, so I was listening to the vision of what this leader was proposing about this once a week gathering. I was completely just praising God for every sentence that he was saying because here is a man who is just simply listening to what God wants him to do. And all he wants to do is preach out of God's Word, and to give off this life of joy that he has in Christ, in hopes that it will seep out into this gathering of students each week. I am excited about this! I have felt a lack in hope about the church for some time. I felt renewed and refreshed to hear that someone is actually doing what the Bible says! And that is the mission. Simple. When I finished the podcast, I immediately wanted to just drop everything and start getting involved with this ministry and even start looking for a new place to live just so that I can be closer to this community. It is not in Lynchburg. And even better, the focus is on college students and young adults. A passion that God has started forming in me as of late. None of this is coincidence, but I also know that a moment of pause needs to happen. How does God want me to go about this? I can already feel that this is what He wants me to do because this is what He wants every Christian to do! To just go and do and glorify Him!! I just need wisdom on how. I know by putting my trust in Him, my path will be straight it will become clear and evident on how everything will fall into place. I am excited beyond belief to have finally found something that I believe God is calling me to. It has been a long time since I've felt the call of God. So Amen to that! Now I just ask for your prayers as well! Pray that God gives me that wisdom and discernment. And I hope that you will also be praying for yourselves that God will show you where you need to GO! Love and Blessings!

Voice=Found!

So I realized that my last post was perhaps very vague, so I thought I would take the time to elaborate on just how amazing my life is going right now. First I must preface this post by having everyone reading maybe 2 or 3 posts ago to get to full effect of just how powerful this story really is! I was in such a rut, loss of joy, etc. But I had a revival in my heart. Nothing in particular happened, I just woke up one morning and decided that it was time to change. I had joy coming back, my love for God just starting flowing over. I started to feel how depleted I had been feeling for so long. My Spirit was starving and I was the problem in making it starve. I started to just accept the fact that certain circumstances in my life may not be things that I believed to be "good timing" and realized that God has me in this particular place in my life for a reason. And that reason is GOOD! And I became absolutely, without a doubt, great with where God has me. Contentment, finally!! Can I get an AMEN?! And if that were not enough, I started meeting all these new people that God has been bringing into my life that just add to encouragement in my life. I found myself being the class clown again. I am making everyone laugh again, everyone actually enjoys being around me. For so long I struggled with this. I didn't feel like I was "me". But now, I'm back!! So if that were still not enough, I proceed to go to this lake cook-out where I knew only about 3 people, but I was totally stoked about new people that I would meet...again, I was back. The Kara I knew loved experiences like this. After all, I am an open-book, I will talk to anyone! I love hearing people's stories, and I love sharing mine! I want to hear about how God is moving in their life, or maybe even how God may not be present in their life. Either way, I love meeting new people. So I go to this cook-out and it was truly one of the best days I have had in a really, really long time! This is where God really showed off....so a bunch of us are sitting there on this dock, sunset, watching the water cast shadows of the reds, purples, yellows, and orange from the sky...I'm just wrapped up in God's splendor...so I turn to my friend Lindsay and go "Lets start singing some worship songs"...ok so you may be asking yourself, "how is that such a big deal Kara?" I'll tell you why! For the past 4 or 5 years, I have struggled with my singing voice. The short of the story is I felt rejected for my voice in college and had never experienced that before so I came to the conclusion that I sucked and God obviously took away my gift from me. So I became embarrassed to sing in front of anyone. My best friend was the only one who still heard me. I would sing along in the car, but more quietly when others were there for fear of them thinking I was tone-deaf and just plain awful. Granted, I did have some friends that heard me and still encouraged me by saying I was good, but I never really believed them. This was an issue I had with myself. I had taken upon myself my gift from God...I made it about me. Never do this! Ok so back to the lake...so after I said that, we started singing, just her and I. Let me write that again...I STARTED SINGING!! And it was not just the 2 of us sitting there. I had a small audience of friends that I literally had only known for maybe 2 days. And the best part, I forgot they were all there when I started singing. It was totally about God and me just wanting to worship to Him. Ok so we finish and then I get told how good of a singer I am. And when that was said, I realized what had just happened. Tears filled my eyes, but I shoved them down so these new friends wouldn't think I was some crazy emotional girl. (They will find that out later ha). And when they started telling me how pretty it sounded, I knew it was all genuine. And it wasn't about me this time. God totally took it all! So then we all started singing for the next like 2 hours! It was freaking awesome! That moment was precious and ever since then I have not been able to shut up! My voice is back. And maybe to some I don't sound that great, but again...it is not about me! So hence my "All Things New" slogan from here on out. My life is awesome and I am blessed beyond measure. And I'm excited to see where God takes me next on my journey with Him!

All Things New

I just wanted to share what I believe to be a great revival that has been happening my my heart and attitude here lately. It has been completely amazing!!!! I have found my peace and my joy come flooding back to me! For so long, so many people would come up to me and ask, "Kara, what is wrong with you these days?" And I would never know the answer, but I knew something was wrong too. Well, Kara is back and in full swing ladies and gentlemen! And it feels so good!!! I truly am thankful that we have such a big God who does make all things new. That is how I feel. I feel that I have been re-charged. I have been meeting all kinds of new people lately, developing some really touching friendships, and just experiencing God in a whole new way thru this new people. God is faithful and I am blessed. I just thought I'd share :) Love <3

Wall Breaking

I really love times when I meet new people and automatically there is that "click" that happens. I often wonder if it is because I find people like me who open up so quickly. I love when I find that. I feel that life is too short to have surface level friendships. Why should we waste so much time getting to know someone only to put up walls?? I can totally tell when someone puts up a wall with me and it causes me to think that I have done something to make them place that wall there. I realize that many people like keeping distance with people and don't like sharing every particular part of their lives with others, but I often wonder why not? Is it a trust issue? Do you fear that they will use that information as blackmail to you later? Do you reserve these types of stories for whomever you will marry one day? What is the reason behind this? IS there is a reason? I'm interested and intrigued by why people like surrounding walls around them. Maybe I have a lesson to learn in needing to put up more. Maybe there is a legit reason as to why someone should "guard" themselves. I'm not speaking of guarding hearts here, I'm just focusing on sharing one's life with others. Your hurts, your hang-ups, what makes you tick, how you are most encouraged, etc.

I'm Covered

I have been so encouraged by everyone who has contacted me to tell me you are praying for me. And it goes beyond that, you guys are checking on me just about everyday. I honestly cannot tell you how much this means to me!! It is awesome totally awesome to see that people that I am just getting to know are almost the most concerned for me haha. It's so great how God uses people that you least expect! It's really cool. Anyway, so I figured I should just bring everyone up to speed as to how I am doing even though it's only been a few days. I will be honest and say that I am not completely great, but I have to say that tonight was a great turning point for me, I think. I will back up to yesterday...I did something that I've never done before. I went and saw a movie by myself. To those who may not know me very well...I hate doing anything by myself. But I have been feeling like God is wanting me to use this time to be alone, so why not keep doing the things I want to do?? And yesterday, I wanted to see a movie, so I went! It was a little weird at first, but after the movie started, it was all good. So today I did not work, once again, but I ended up not being home all day and encountered 3 different people to hang out with for different periods of time. It was really wonderful! And all of them, unplanned!

So then tonight I decided to go to campus church. I haven't been in a while, so I thought why not? I am so glad I went!!! My friend Tiff and I decided we would just go for the worship time. God decided to be funny...all we did was worship! There was no sermon, all totally rocking out to God through music. This is how I connect with God most!! And tonight we sang "Jesus' Blood". Wow. It hit me tonight in such a powerful way. And all night, each time anyone spoke, they talked of people hurting and just leaving things at the altar. God was totally speaking directly to me though them. So I hope that I left things at that altar tonight. Please keep praying for me, but I was glad to see glimpses of hope and joy through the cracks tonight. God is Good!

Another great song we sang tonight, these are the lyrics sticking with me still..
"All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship"

Dave Matthews- A plead for Help

I feel that I have so much to write...I'm running on a low amount of sleep as well so hopefully everything I am about to say will make sense. So last night one of my life goals was accomplished. I got to see The Dave Matthews Band in concert! The concert was better than I could even dream, I loved everything about it!! They def. do not disappoint so if you are a fan, I highly recommend going!! My friends Marlene, Katie, and Adam all went and the girls are not avid fans, but they both were having a blast! I was not able to take in my camera to the show itself, so all I have are a few pics from our dinner at Chili's. At the concert, there was of course drinking and marjuana, but actually not as much as I thought there would be. We had the privilege to be right next to a row of tokers who lit up the entire concert, the aroma was just fabulous. Totally kidding! I was really enjoying the concert, I danced almost the entire time, screamed and clapped ALOT, it was all in all a blast. We got back real late and last night I started having a broken heart for everyone in that arena as I went to bed, but shoved it down since sleep was more important to me at the time. Wrong thing to do. God woke up me earlier than I was expecting to me up. And my mind has been going ever since...I know I shouldn't make assumptions that majority of the people at the concert were non-believers, but I'm going to anyway. The crowd that I was around and those that I was able to watch, if they do know Jesus, they perhaps have just either not understood what it means to live for Christ, or they are ignoring it. I then observed many people quite literally worshipping this band. I was telling my friends after the show that I even feel funny raising my hands up at a concert because this is how I worship God, so even though I know I am not worshipping the DMB, the simple act of raising both hands feels weird. My heart just broke for these people. It made me more aware than I have felt in a long time of just how worldly people are. How much I need to be more active in showing Christ to others. I'm not saying I will not attend concerts such as these because of that reason. If anything, it makes me want to go more so that hopefully God uses me in these places. Maybe people noticed that none of us were consuming things. Perhaps they thought, "Man are those people not having fun or what?" But then to observe us dancing, laughing, and still having a great time could maybe affect someone. Who knows. So I had those thoughts which then led into other thoughts...

I know I have written over and over again in these last few weeks, maybe months I don't know about my attitude. I think this morning I have realized that I need to ask for much needed prayer. The truth of the matter is, I am struggling. And it is a hard thing for me to write that because I never want anyone to look at me thinking that I am not my normal, encouraging self, but I'm not. I am finding it hard to get up each day feeling that I am making a difference in people's lives. I feel that those that I am around, I am not helping. I am trying to meet people's needs (which I know I need to stop because that isn't my job), but I am just trying to be a mere friend and that ends up blowing up in my face. Now before you start thinking to yourself, "oh crap, is she talking about me?"...I honestly know that most of this stuff is in my head. But it isn't going away. I come home and I am just plain sad. I go out and I am just plain sad. And people are taking notice of this! This is when people start asking, "What's wrong?" "Did you have a bad day?" "Kara, what's your problem?" And honestly, I don't have an answer! I didn't even realize that I wasn't faking it enough. I thought I was still coming across as bubbly Kara. Several people remind me how apparently my smile and laugh are contagious and how they haven't really seen or heard it as much as they used to. I don't know what else to say to this except that I am sorry. I don't really know what is going on with me these days. So all I know to do is to ask for prayer. And that is totally hard for me to do and I don't know why that is either. I think I feel ashamed with me right now. I feel numb. I am praying that this is because I am getting ready to have something really big happen with me. Maybe God is getting ready to move in my life in such a way that it's going to be awesome. I don't know. Just pray please.

And finally another prayer request...I have been wondering if perhaps these feelings are because I am refusing to move. I keep thinking about Nashville a lot. I don't know if this is because this is a place that I just really loved when I visited Marlene, or if God is trying to get me to go? This is, of course, a little scary as I feel that I love my job here so finding another one in this economy could be really hard. Then again, if God wants me to go, I know He will supply me with my needs. Then I think, oh man...I'm going to go and be alone...but then I think...well I feel like that a lot of time here in Lynchburg too. My friends are slowly all moving away anyways. All of this is just taking a lot of brain space for me right now. And I am at a loss as to what to do. So I just write to plead for you guys, all who care, to pray. Please love on me, encourage me, remind me of God's provision.

I know this was all a lot. Who knew my post about my Dave Matthews experience would end on such a sad note. For that, I am sorry. This was just my plead for help. Thanks.

Butt Kickin'

So anyone who is thinking about a home exercise video...Get the 30 Minute Shred!!! Oh my word! I have only taken off one day (due to being sick) and my body has been sore every single day. Stairs are awful because it literally could take me 2 min. to walk up them haha. But I'm totally excited because that means it is working! It has also gotten me back into my water drinking habits which is good. I had come away from that!

I have been sick for 2 days, just a sinus infection, but I stayed home from work yesterday because of it. I felt awful! I didn't talk the entire day which is probably a first for me! Crazy.

In just 2 days I am going to the Dave Matthews Band in concert!!!!!!! I know I have probably exhausted this topic, but I can't even express how excited I am! And the great thing is, I know they won't disappoint. Then the other morning I thought of a really cool thing...I am so excited about seeing just a band, granted this is a band I L-O-V-E! But it isn't my first love. Imagine how pumped I am going to get about seeing my one true love?! Going to heaven?! I mean, just think about that. We get excited about some really cool things here on earth, but imagine how excited we are going to be to think about spending eternity with our God. We are going to have some pretty AH-MAzing concerts up there too I bet! It's going to be more than our minds can even picture. We could take all the lights, fog machines, awesome sound systems, killer voices, and special effects to boot and it still will not compare to what heaven will be like. Wow...just sit on that!

How to Hurt Kara

I have figured out what hits me right in the heart. Here is a simple plan on how to make my heart hurt...ignore me or leave me out of something. It's not hard to do, I promise. If I have ever done anything to you to make you hate me, just ignore me. It will eat away at me for possibly the rest of my earthly life. Go from being my very close friend whom we share pretty much everything going on in our lives to becoming just an acquaintance. Or plan a really great party, or simply go out to eat with our mutual friends...and don't call me. Seriously. This will emotionally kill me. It will run me dry. I will go to bed crying profusely that night. I'll keep trying to live life out to its fullest and I will pray constantly for God to take the pain away and wait for a response from Him as to why this is happening to me, but it will still hurt nonetheless. Yep, this happens to me. And it sucks. The End.

30 Day Shred

So all the training I've been doing for these 10ks...would you believe I did not run them???? haha. The first 10k was in Richmond and it was suppose to rain that day, so I said...no way am I running in the rain...so when I woke up that morning, what was it NOT doing?? Yep, that's right, not raining! Oh well. Tis life. Then the second 10k was going to be in SC this past weekend. We ended up not running this because we found out that this trip was going to end up costing us about $300 a person. Yeah, I don't have money like that right now. So!! I am still running because I would like to run a 10k eventually. I'm going to need to keep searching for one. I have found out through all this training though, I hate running. I will never enjoy running. It's just not for me. And I think I am starting to get bored with my workout routine. I love that it is going to start getting warmer so the thought of going inside a gym still does not sound good to me. I want to keep running/walking outside. So last night I was doing some research about different workouts that I could do. I have found a solution that I am going to try. It's by that hard-core trainer from Biggest Loser, Jillian. She has a DVD out called the 30 day shred. It got really good reviews and it's supposed to be killer! So I ordered it and I'm excited for it to arrive. With all of this running I am doing, I am shedding some pounds, but I am wanting something to help me build more muscle. I know women reading this understand me when I say that losing the weight is good and all, but if the body isn't getting toned, it's still not as pretty as you would like it to be. :) So I will have to let everyone know how this 30 day shred pans out.

I am currently sitting in the Muse coffee shop, my home away from home. It has become my sanctuary in the mornings as I sit in the corner with my journal and Bible and just talk to God. I write about all my frustrations and all my ambitions that I want to see with my relationship with Him and my relationship with others. The last 2 times that I have been in here, I've been asked if I am doing ok. This struck me because this particular person says he has been feeling not so good vibes from me lately. He feels that I am off these days. It has been thinking...do others feel this way about me to? And what is wrong with me?? Have I not been as chipper as I normally am? Do I not smile enough now? Have I lost something that others notice? Gosh, I hope not! I don't ever want people to feel that they can't approach me or they feel that I am just this awful depressed person that must be having a hard day. So to anyone who has been getting this vibe from me lately, I am sorry. I don't want to be like that. Life is good. I need to be cautious about showing this on my outward appearance more, I suppose. So if you see me, and you feel that I look distraught..help me smile!! :)

I've always wondered when people talked about their hearts bleeding, what did they mean by that and what on earth did that feel like? I feel that since high school, I have discovered what this term is talking about. Definition of a bleeding heart--when you put everything you have out on the line, fall, and then u are left with not only pieces but a feeling of your heart in your hand just bleeding to death. Sorry to be so graphic! Then I thought, this is what God must feel like with me too often! He puts his unconditional love out on the line for me, and then I disappoint. I know we are talking about God here so he is bigger than a bleeding heart, but at the same time...he hurts for his children. And he understands our pain. Anyone who sacrifices their Son must understand a lot!! More than I will ever know, that's for sure! I have been letting God's heart bleed too much. I'm sure as I write this many of you are thinking of that song "Bleeding Love"...good song and true lyrics in parts of that song! As I ask for God to heal my bleeding heart from guys past, I also need to ask for forgiveness for any pain I may cause Him too.

On another note, I've been digging Jimmy Buffett, James Taylor, and Bonnie Raitt a lot lately. Golden Oldies. These are artists I grew up on. I remember so many summers at our river house with the music blaring all over the house with tunes by these guys. My dad was a real Jimmy fan. It fit him too. Such a goofball that wanted nothing but to relax by the water drinking his famous pina colata. I must say, I loved those things. He made them virgin for me, of course. So good. I've yet to make him as good as him. I'll keep trying tho! I CAN make a mean french toast tho. I have gotten my culinary side from him because Lord knows, my mom was a little lacking in that area. Anyway, this music makes me happy. I can't help but smile as I sing along, which is good because I am always looking for music to cheer me up when I have bad days. This has been such a hectic time with the car accident and everything, it is inspiring me to want to have another vacation that I actually get to relax on! Money is slim though, so it needs to be low budget. Perhaps the river house would be most fitting especially with the warm weather approaching. Well, get out there and enjoy some good Buffett and James Taylor! Toodles!

Give Me Jesus

"You can have all this world, just give me Jesus!"

This past weekend I went to NOVA to see my best friend for her birthday. As crazy as things have been for me lately (as I'm sure you read in my last post), it was great to get away for a mini vaca and spend time with her. It was not only comfort for me to get away, but it was comfort to get away and be with the person who probably knows me best. I am able to just strip myself down to who I am and she will always accept me. Not to say her and I haven't had some bumps, but what friendship doesn't. Anyway, so she wanted to go to this church called LifePoint on Sunday so I was down. We seriously could not find this place. We drove around Fredricksburg for 30 minutes trying to find it. We went to this other church and asked a couple in the parking lot if they knew where it was, and luckily they knew where the school was that it was being held in. Praise God we got there, late, but we got there. We missed a good part of the worship which I was bummed about because that can really be my way of expressing love for my Savior, but then a pastor (a LU grad) got up and just started out by saying he didn't care if what he was about to talk about was going to offend people because he was going to talk about Truth. He started talking about how our world now is a "my right" society. Everyone thinks they can do what they want, and say what they want because it is "their right". Obviously, that is ridiculous! Sure, we have rights, but there are limits on those rights. Anyway, he also talked about how Christians today may have a lot of head knowledge about Jesus, but not enough application. We become a child of demands instead of bowing down before our King! I have been guilty of this. Alot. When I pray, I find that I am going through the list of things that I need help with or even things that I just plain want. I fail to remember that I am speaking to an All-Powerful, Mighty, KING who deserves for me to fall down on my face and just be thankful. He deserves for me to just surrender. And surrender everything, not just the things I am willing to give up. Those things that I cling so tightly to...those are the things I must surrender most.

Stop This Train

This will be yet another post mainly to help my thoughts get placed together. John Mayer spoke to my heart as I was driving today "Honestly, won't someone just stop this train". This is how I feel today. To catch everyone up to speed, I was involved in a car accident on my way to Florida on spring break. 2 of my friends, Marlene and Danielle, were with me...no one was hurt to the point of needing long-term medical assistance, but we did go that night so the girls could get checked out. I am totally fine, which somehow does not seem completely fair since I was the one driving the car. Everyone keeps re-assuring me that 1)this accident was not my fault, so I shouldn't feel bad, and 2)it was good I was not injured so I could help my friends. I haven't seen it this way. I see it as I should have been the one who was hurt the worst. That is me trying to take on too much for myself though, which I ALWAYS do! God gets tired of me doing that, I'm sure! So anyways, since then I have been on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY with insurance companies. Luckily, I was not at fault...it was the guy 2 cars behind me who was, so he is getting hit with all kinds of bills, but I don't care whose fault it is...it is a hassle for everyone to deal with!! I have been sleeping really well at night, but I am still exhausted! I need a vacation from my vacation!
So today has been awful because I had to take my car to the adjuster of the guy at fault and he proceeds to tell me that my car is looking at total loss. I love my car and I didn't realize how much! It is awful for me to feel so strongly towards something so material, but I think there are a few factors here...1)my dad gave me that car as a graduation gift after high school, so it has sentimental value to me because it involves him, 2)that car has had SOOO many memories in it! 3)I normally am the friend who takes everyone everywhere, so my car has bonded with people. (I know this is silly, but hence why we have blogs so I can get my feeling written out), and 4)this car has never given me any problems! I'm really going to miss it if it's time for it to go. Who knows what will happen now. Right now I am driving around a rental, a mazda 6, which is a nice car, but I want mine haha.
Then I just feel sick. My back and neck have started hurting me worse, probably just from being sore afterwards, so now I need to make a docs appointment. Then I was stupid and signed up to do a handwriting assignment (Which I will get paid for, PTL), but why did I do this when I don't have time?! I am traveling the next 3 weekends, 2 of those weekends I am running 10ks. I haven't been able to train in the last like 2 weeks, so now I'm out of shape again. I have a friend who I feel I have hurt and I'm scared that we are going to be weird now. I don't like losing people due to my stupidity. I'm just a ball of emotions! I want to cry, but I know if I start...it will take me a while to stop, so since I don't have time to just sit and cry..I blog. It's insane. So to anyone who reads this, please please please pray for me! I am in desperate need of feeling God right now among all of this and I'm so consumed by it all that I'm not allowing myself to stop and just let Him comfort me. So I don't know what else to ask for you to pray about other than just pray that God will be BIG in this. Thanks all.

Unsettled Pieces

Today I have felt very unsettled with my life. For starters, I was writing in my journal about how I have felt weird about God. I can't really say that I feel distance or that I am not satisfied by Him, but something is off. Then there is my longing that I have for more friends. I do not mean this to offend current friends I have, but I felt that at a time, I had a large group and now they have disbanded. I miss having a group that is always ready to actually go and do something or talk about God or just get me the freak out of the house. I mainly miss the conversation piece. I truly love the ones I have in my life, let me clear about that, but I have started to realize that I crave group activities and I crave group discussions about life. As I looked out my window this afternoon at the very dreary day we are having in Lynchburg, I started wondering what more could be out there for me? Does God want me to go anywhere else or am I to stay in Lynchburg longer? And also, is Mr. Right ever going to come? Actually let me first start by saying that I do miss having a group of guy friends. I love my girls, but I am a girl who needs her guy time too. I pretty much only had guy friends growing up, so this period that I am in with my life is very different because I really don't have many guys in my life. I have 2 wonderful guys that I admire and cherish dearly...but where are the others? The 2 that I have, one isn't even in Lynchburg anymore. So if I don't have many guy friends, how am I ever going to have Mr. Right find me? Will he be here in Lynchie? Is God going to take me somewhere else at some point? I realize that all these questions, for me, are actually turning into worries which I am trying not to let overcome me since worrying is not something God wants me to do. He has it all under control. But I do have a free will...where does that come into play? Is God waiting for me to decide to move somewhere? Is He waiting on me to make the first moves in getting new friends? How does that work??

So after going back and forth about some of these issues, and even crying a little about it. (I'm a real emotional person, I know!) I decided to open "My Utmost for His Highest" and read today's entry. It was so cool because I did at least get an answer for my unsettled God issue. It talked about how there will be times in our lives in our journey with Jesus that we will not recognize him. Jesus took on the entire human-self. He experienced hardships and darkness that we deal with in our lives. There may be times when we look at him and see him as that human self and all we can do is stop and stare. We don't recognize him. But we are encouraged to bear through these times of dismay because the outcome will bring us such joy once we start to see him in all Glory. There is more to Jesus than just how he took on human flesh. He is so much beyond our intellectual being that we cannot even begin to number all his characteristics. It will be only through my spiritual growth that I start to see more and more characteristics of him and will start to recognize things I didn't before. This brought me such comfort because obviously that is where I am. I am stopped and just staring at Him, wondering what part of him I am looking at. So obviously it can be unsettling. It's the unknown, yet He knows me. Even as I type this out, my brain can't wrap itself around the whole concept. I don't know if anyone else who reads that will understand that, but I hope it can bring someone clarity like it did me. As for the rest of my unsettled pieces...I will just need to rest assure that everything will fall into place at the right time. I need to make sure I keep surrendering these worries to Him and find joy in what I have.

Determination

There has been a lot on my mind these days. What better way to sort those thoughts than by blogging! First, yesterday I got caught up in my money situation again. I was doing my bills and getting ready to order more of my face products online and I just got so frustrated with how much stuff costs!! I started freaking out because my bank account has never been so low and I realized that this shopaholic is going to HAVE to make some changes. I always justify my purchases because I always manage to get really great deals and I do need some of the things I have bought, but I'm going to have to start sacrificing even the things I may need. It's already really funny on how I think about budget. My view on budget is, ok I won't buy groceries this week because I know I really want this one outfit. So I choose to eat ramen or have a latte count as my meal. Anyway, so last night I gathered several things and started listing them on ebay. I need to selling things to help me get out of my debt. I'm really excited about this because I feel that I am going to have my credit card paid off really quick if I stick to the plan I've made for myself. Determination is key.
So another thought that has been on my mind is how I have let my life become dull. I am always talking about living life to the fullest, but how many days do I go to work, come home and work on school, watch lame tv, and then go to bed?? Where did my adventure go? What happened to Kara the coordinator of all things fun?! Well..she's back! No more boring life Kara. Because when school is over, then what? I'll look back and remember not doing much. BORING! There are things to do, things to see, people to enjoy, friends to love, encouragement that needs to be spread all over!!! I feel the happiest serving my Jesus by serving my friends. And I view serving my friends by simply just hanging out with them! Lots of serving can happen when hanging out with people...making them food, opening your home, listening to their life situations, dancing out the aggression in our lives haha. Whatever! So I began the "bring back fun Kara" by going sledding the other night. It ended up being only 3 people that came, which was fine, but it was so much fun!! There is something about snow that just brings the kid out of everyone! We videoed the whole thing, I fell on my butt I don't know how many times, but it was fantastic! It felt good to be adventurous again. It felt good to be with my best friends. And this week I have been able to fill my days with just plain fun stuff and I've still managed to get school and work done. I sleep a little less, but that's ok. Well those are my thoughts for now. Thanks for reading :)

Affection

I am starting to realize how much of an affectionate person I am. This really makes me full of joy and I think it is because of my mom. As a disclaimer, I love my mom more than I thought I could love anyone. We have a special bond that I don't think is like other mother-daughter relationships I've seen. So what I am about to say is not suppose to be a total negative look at her, but my mom is just not an affectionate person. It's funny because we both probably look totally awkward if we ever hug or kiss each other. That part of us is actually kind of new. I know this might sound weird, but this is what I meant about us having a different kind of relationship. She does not really think to hug people in greeting them, her way of comforting is normally in words or in an act of service. She is not a physical touch woman. It is cool to see how God had her marry a totally affectionate man though! My dad was ALL about physical touch! I know that most men probably are, but he was in the sweetest sense. I remember every single night that he would come home from work, I was normally on the couch doing homework or watching tv and he would always come in "Hey Sweets!!" And come and kiss me on my forehead and stroke my hair as he asked how my day was before he went to change clothes. Every single night! And then some nights or days that I would be in my room for an extended period of time, he would come upstairs and start hugging on me and just wanting to talk. He needed to touch me in some way every time I entered a room. It used to get on my last nerves and I would pull the whole, "daaaad!!" haha. I miss it now though. He was the same with my mom. I remember on Sunday afternoons, they would normally curl up on the couch together and fall asleep watching football. I didn't realize until now how precious that was for me to observe. I got to truly see my parents be loving their entire 26 years of marriage. What a gift! (Thank you, Lord!). So in finding that I am more like my dad really soothes me. Internally, I always had the fear that I would be more closed to affection like my mom. Although, it isn't that she is closed, that just isn't her personality. But I find that I just love physical touch. I am starting to be like my dad...with every friend I see and even new ones that I greet, I have to touch them. I know once I get into a relationship, we may be sitting in a restaurant, and I will be the one who will need to reach out every now and then just to have him touch me for a few seconds, then I'll be fine :). I love cuddling, hand holding, hugging, kissing, a simple brush of the arm, fingers through the hair, arm around me as I walk. Even as I type these things, I smile. I find that I end up blogging a lot about what warms my heart, but I truly do feel that! A warmth in my heart when things are just how they should be. I'm glad God created us to be people of love and affection. I'm glad I am a touchy expression of affection.

Coffee Date

I'm in the mood to blog and I'm not real sure what about, but I am feeling stressed and I find that the best thing for me to do is to just write. This week has been a real whirlwind. That doesn't make it much different from other weeks, I love staying busy. I love leaving one thing and going right into the next. I don't have to have much downtime :) Altho when I think about it, some of those activities I do are downtime with friends. I started this week with a new routine of going to the Muse every morning. This quaint little coffee shop is right down the street from where I live. It's rather convenient. Especially for my love of coffee!! I decided to start doing this as a help to me for 2 reasons. The first is the most important. I must confess that my time in the Word lately has been severely lacking due to my laziness. Lame-o!! I have never been one to want to make my daily time with God something to add to a to-do list, but at the same time...it's what I need to do. Just like making time for any friend I have in my life, for the most important person ever, deserves MUCH more attention, SO I had to pencil Jesus in every morning on my schedule. I need to start with God and end with God. Everyday. I also was starting to realize that simply staying in my house to read my Bible and pray was making my perspective of "God-time" seem dull. And dull does not equal God. SO! In lieu of the fact that I am SUCH an extroverted people person, I needed to find a quiet but public place to go. I feel more connected to God when I am connected to others. I love being surrounded by others as I read how to be more like Him and as I pray for others. It warms my heart. So that is what I do. My second reason in doing this is so that I am more productive at my job. I found that I was running into my job late every morning and feeling panic as I started the 50,000 tasks Jarad leaves for me to do everyday. Now, I enter my office feeling peace and I'm ready to tackle whatever is thrown at me. I am totally excited about this new routine. I am ready to be renewed in different areas in my life. Life's a dance, learn as you go :)

Girl Bashing

Sorry girls but I am abandoning our gender today in terms of how we treat men. This will not apply to ALL women, but I have started making some clear observations on some girls who are just absolutely ridiculous! And I've had it! I will be directing my bashing on two types on women. Let's start with the first, "The un-deserving ones". These are the type that CHOOSE to linger on men, actually BOYS, that don't have their act together and treat women like crap! Girls, why are you even friends with these guys?! He obviously (to quote that new movie) is just not that into you! Do not continue to allow him to take advantage of you! Drop him! It is a lie for you to believe that this guy will change once you are in a relationship. It is a lie to believe that you deserve this guy. God did not design relationships to be this way. I can speak from experience that you put everything into this man, you serve him unconditionally only to be heart-broken because he does not reflect the same feelings back. He does not serve you, he uses you. He takes advantage of you. You are a convenience to him! When he is lonely, he calls you. Don't for one minute think that he is being a true, real friend or boyfriend to you. You don't need to waste your time on someone like this. There are real guys out there who do want to be your friend and serve you! They are gentlemen! I am lucky to have found some of these. And there is a man who is worthy to be your husband. He will take care of you and you of him! So stop attaching yourselves to these jerks who don't know how to treat people and then expect "pity conversations" from your friends telling you, "oh he must have just had a bad day, or he'll come around". Lies, lies, lies. You deserve so much more!

The second woman I am speaking to is the "User, non-commitment, flirt". You women make me so mad! Maybe you are sitting there wondering if that fits you...let me clarify exactly what I mean. These are the women that I think, unfortunately, a lot of guy get attracted to. Why, I have no idea. These are women who have lots of guys who are after them, but the girl does not feel the same, yet she continues to lead them on. She may have already let the guy know that there is no interest on her part, but she continues to call the guy constantly...she goes everywhere that he goes. When she talks to him, she is pretty much throwing herself on him by constantly grabbing his arm, or hugging him, or laughing a little too much at his jokes. This is confusing for guys, ladies! Don't do this! I'm not saying you can't be friends with this guy, but remember that continuing to flirt in the same way that you want to is not appropriate. And also, we all know that you are pretty so as you are talking, stop looking around the room to see who is checking you out! I hate that! I see this happen so much!! Girls will toss their hair, giggle a lot (even with girls) and the whole time their friend is telling them this in-depth story, they are checking out the scene to see if anyone is noticing her. Ugh! Stop! And I'm sorry to say that I am noticing that a lot of college girls do this. It's so unattractive! I'm sure I was like this to a certain degree maybe in high school, but I wish I had someone to tell me what I'm saying now because honestly, I must have looked like a total idiot and I was making myself seem available when I wasn't. Which brings me to another point about these girls...they talk about how being in commitments doesn't make them feel free. They can't be who they want to be in relationships, that is total BS! Since when does a relationship confine you to be who you want to be?! It's a matter of the right person coming along to be with you to support you in who you are! So stop being this total flirt to these amazing guys who actually want a commitment, but are wasting their time on you who isn't looking for anything. There are some of us who are waiting for these committed guys to find us who are ready to be in a relationship and stop all this "dating guy to guy" business. I'm sure I'm not the only girl who has or does feel this way and I'm sorry to be so brash, but enough is enough! Ok The end :)

Career Builders Over Tea

My roommate likes to rave to others about my pancake-making skills. I do enjoy cooking, especially for others. I have just recently really started to get back into cooking the way I did my senior year of college in my little apartment. I used to whip out all kinds of Food Network recipes to try and escape to my little cooking world. I am one who prefers to cook alone. I love it if people make themselves comfortable in the kitchen, but I like doing all the effort. I am sure that part of that is so I can take all the credit if it is good (selfish I know.) OR if it is bad...I can also take the blame. So my Bible study girls starting talking the other night over a nice cup of tea about these wonderful pancakes AKA slaphappys. I think I've already given the history of slaphappys and how they came about, so I won't delve into that. These girls were getting so excited though at the thought of me opening up a breakfast place. We started coming up with different recipes. I probably should have been writing those down. We came up with a location, what the atmosphere would be like, names of dishes, hours of operation, investors, etc. I found myself getting really pumped and had to remind myself that this was not actually happening haha. It felt like a trustee meeting. These girls were going to be a part of the whole thing, coming up with the game plan, encouraging me as if I were going to present it to some head honcho Monday morning. I am not seriously considering this idea yet, but I'm wondering if this could be something. Over the summer I started playing with the idea of a bed and breakfast. That would be more costly, but I was more interested in the breakfast part anyway. Would Lynchburg need another breakfast place? All we have now is Cracker Barrel, IHOP, and Waffle House. All greasy spoons if you ask me. I do eat there though so don't take offense because where else is there to go to go out to breakfast?? It's kind of a fun thought. If anyone has been to Nashville and gone to the Pancake Pantry...this is my inspiration. A constant line forms outside of this place on a daily basis. The smells that hit you as soon as you walk through the door; sweet syrup, fluffy cakes, fresh-brewed coffee. A very family friendly, yet college feel place. I like it! No..I LOVE it! I went there twice in the 4 days I stayed in Nashy. Who knows, maybe later down the road, Slaphappys will be.

Truth Vs. Lie

So a few girls and I have started this new Bible study called The Truth Project. Pretty much it is completely rocking my world! The basis of the whole study is around why do you believe the things that you believe? Why is the Bible truth? Is the Bible truth? Etc. It’s pretty awesome stuff! I’ve really become enveloped in this whole learning more about Truth vs. Lies. I believe that without knowing it, the world has begun to overcome my worldviews. How disturbing is that? That Satan, coming in all silent like that…wow. And it is not just me that has started believing these ridiculous lies. There is a battle out there! I think it is so easy to allow the black and white morales of life to fade to gray. Our generation has become such a “feelers” generation. When did that happen?? We don’t want to offend people in telling them that they are wrong, or worse, we don’t realize that there is a wrong and a right! There is always a truth and a lie! You can’t be in the middle! I’ll get from behind the pulpit now…that’s basically been what we’ve uncovered so far through this study. I have known about all this already but for some reason it is really starting to resonate with me. I am loving it! I'm sure there will be more to come on this topic as I embark deeper...

In other news, training for my two 10ks is going well. I still really hate running with a passion, in fact while I am running I am saying that to myself haha. But I love the feeling you get afterwards. You are totally tired and totally sweaty, but you feel refreshed. I am stoked about the Richmond 10k because I found out this is one of the largest races in the nation! There is something like 30,000 people already signed up. Talk about chaos! But there are several of us doing it together so it will be good motivation!

I am also pumped about this week because my friend Lindsay and I are heading down to Myrtle Beach on Thursday after work for our own “Valentine’s getaway”. I did this last year with Mar and it was a total blast! I mean sure, we are basically surrounded by couples the whole weekend, but it’s totally fun! We dress up one night and go out on the town then pretty much stay in our PJs and veg the rest of the time by the beach. It’s glorious! I have come to love my little travel vacas lately.

Season of Friends

You know, I get really sad when I think about how much friendships can change. I am the type of person that likes having really close relationships with people instead of just simply knowing hundreds. I like having a close knit of people that I really share my whole life story with. I can probably count on my hands how many people I do that with. It is just unfortunate though how life just simply can change that. Living in Lynchburg, you get used to it. It is such a transitional place to live. People are always coming and going. I have a few of my really close friends who do not live here anymore. I keep in contact with them, but it is definitely hard. I just want to take a few warm fuzzy moments to talk about my good friends...
My best friend Heather lives in NOVA. I miss her terribly because she knows me the best out of everyone that I know. She and I were college roommates. We were randomly put together our freshman year and we totally just hit it off. I love her dearly!! We have both been through a lot in our own personal lives, and we have seen each other through it all. She was totally there while my dad was sick and then in his passing and I will never forget that!! She always knows the right things to say, she is definitely more blunt than I am when it comes to things and she does not care what people think about her when she expresses her opinions, but I love that about her. She is such a blessing in my life and I praise God that we still have each other, even living away from each other.

This is my beautiful roommate Marlene. Man, words probably can't express how much of a stronghold she has been for me this past year. Her and I are so different from each other and friends laugh to see how well we live together. She is a total SO CAL girl :) Her heart will forever be in San Diego and she absolutely HATES this cold weather that we get in Lynchie. Her and I have made it through some hard times as we both go through this "20 something slum" every now and then. She is a true woman of God who is constantly having to remind me to have "open palms" with situations in my life to allow God to work. She is inspirational and I am so blessed that she lives with me!



This is Ash Bash. I love this picture of her because this just a typical "Ash" expression :) Here is another one of my best friends who now does not live here anymore. She moved back home to NC last Spring and I definitely miss her tremendously! I could always depend on her to tell me exactly how something is. She will be the first to tell you that sometimes she lacks compassion when it comes to giving advice. But you know, sometimes we don't need stuff to be so mushy-gushy. Sometimes I need the cold hard facts of life. What she may not know is that even though she thinks she lacks compassion, the way that she expresses her love for others is totally ministry-minded. She is always wanting to better herself in the Lord which I totally look up to. Her and I pretty much just love to laugh together. She has seen me through a lot of those same hard times that Marlene had to see me through. In fact the two of them were my accountability for quite a while. I don't get to talk to Ash as much as I would like, mainly because we both hate the phone, but we do know how much we love each other and will always be there for one another.

Adam Wise. Everyone in Lynchburg knows this guy, I am convinced! And everyone who knows him can't help but just smile when they say his name because he is so darn hilarious! I am sure he would be surprised to make this "friend momento" list, but he is up there when I consider people whom I am close with. When him and I first met, I really feel that he helped me sort some crap in my life out. Again, he may not know this. He was there for me more than he realizes. I feel that I have seen him go through his share of ups and downs. He is a man of the Lord so he is always game to share with others about God's awesome Truth. His musical talent astounds everyone and he is always such an amazing entertainer at his shows. We know that God is going to do great things with him with his music and hopefully as "The 3clectic" grows.
Katie and Heather. Oh man...these girls. Ok so we all started hanging out this past summer and they made my summer!!! We had MANY wonderful in-depth life discussions on Adam's front porch. We consumed alot of fried dough and sno shack! And it seems that we went out to eat pretty much all the time. Individually...Heather is my encourager. She would on any given week, take time out of her day to send me a card or send me a funny email just to make my day. I loved it! She was always there to be a listening ear whenever I needed to vent. Katie is like sunshine on a rainy day :) She always has such a cheerful disposition and it is contagious! She is very easy-going which I need more of in my life...ha! She is a fashionista! The deals that she is able to get on a shopping spree is quite amazing! She is one to give me great advice because she is able to think outside of the box, in my opinion. Both of these girls gave me a lot of laughs....and both of them no longer live here either. Katie is in Roanoke which, thankfully, is not far. And Heather is now in Florida.

Finally, this is James. He is totally just like my brother. In fact one of our friend's moms thought we really were related. Hilarious. James is a deep thinker. He likes to look at things from all angles before giving what he believes to be right or true. He is definitely doing all things right to live whole-heartedly for Christ!! I am so proud of how he really tries to live in the way that men should live. He is going to make an awesome husband to someone someday and I can't wait until he finds her! (Sorry if that embarressed you bro). James is my guy mind. If I have a question about anything pertaining to men...I go to James. He gives me a perspective that my girl friends can't. He is trustworthy and honest. He actually just moved to Richmond because he is helping to start a church there and I am totally stoked for him. Luckily that is my home town so I know I will get to see him often, but it is still sad to have another close friend move away.


So there you have it. Those that I mentioned there are who I consider the glue to my life. Yes, I do have other friends and if I did not mention you in this blog, please do not be offended. You know I love everyone deeply..it's just a matter of the time spent with each of these and the things that we have been through together. Good times. So for me...when people talk of seasons of friends...yeah I can think of a few that may be that way, but I think I'm pretty good about choosing friends that are here for the long-run, no matter what life may bring. I love each of you guys so much and thank you for being little blessings for me! I hope that in reading this, you were able to see how you look in my eyes. Don't ever change anything about yourselves and how our relationships are....they are perfect the way they are. You are all beautiful and I pray God continues to bless each of you as we continue this journey of life.

2 Miles and Man Blues

So my friend Lindsay convinced me to start training for this 10k in Charleston, SC that is in April. I didn't really want to do it at first, but after her talking about it so much, she got me to cave. I started this week because now we are running not one, but two 10ks. The first is in Richmond for the Massey Cancer Center. This will be near and dear to my heart as this was where my dad spent some time while he was battling cancer. I think there is even something named after him there, like a door or something. Who knows, but it is important to support this center to me. The second 10k will be my real challenge. So anyway, last night I ran 2 miles!! I'm not a runner at all, this was a huge accomplishment for me! But today I totally started to freak out thinking about this race. I don't know if it is the thought of whether I will be ready or not, or if it is the thought of doing totally terrible at the race. Who knows, but it really got me down today....which then brought on the man blues. Let me explain..my roommate and her sister cane up for this phrase to use when you start thinking about wanting a man in your life but you don't have one. This happened to me today. I started thinking about how much of me just wants to find that husband of mine, but not knowing how much longer I have to wait for the Lord to bring him along. I know that he will be worth the wait and I will probably say things like "Oh, I would have waited another 5 years to have this one". But it is hard when you have those days where you just feel kind of lonely. I won't dwindle on this thought the entire day because that doesn't make anyone feel good, but for now...a little sadness will cover me.

Power Outage...Best Thing Ever!

Time for me to make some serious updates on this thing. It appears that blogging is really becoming quite the fad these days, and I intend to be one of "those" who keep up with it. So what has the end of sucky 2008 and beginning of enlightening 2009 brought you may ask?? I shall share regardless of if you care of not. I would ask that if you read my posts, please comment so that I do know that I do have some sort of fan base :) The end of 2008 was surprisingly very good...at least the last night of 2008 was. I went to Melting Pot with Katie and Caitlyn to toast to the New Year and I have to say that the challenge of coming up with resolutions was really great with these two girls.

*The end of the night all the waiters gave us every balloon from the restaurant. We closed the place down so it was a good time had by all!


I decided on a few things. First things first is to get out of this stupid debt I am in. Unfortunately I made the dumbest move ever to have this HUGE shopping spree to take out some aggression. Ah what the heck, these things are all about spilling your guts anyway and hey! I'm an open book....I went on a shopping spree the night I found out that my mom is dating this guy. I definitely need to find another venue to taking out any frustration or anxiety because I am still paying for this decision I made. (I will look cute getting out of debt though, that's the only plus to this story ha!). So that's number one...which probably with counteract with my second resolution, traveling more. How do I expect to travel more when I don't have the money to do it? Good question, but I am determined to get out of debt FAST so that then I can travel more later! I have some pretty good connections of people around the US and I intend on using the fact that they offer for me to come see them. My roommate Marlene has been after me to come to San Diego as well as my friend James, so I definitely need to make that a priority. I also have a good friend of mine who lives in LA that I want to see too. She works for Live Nation. They put on all sorts of concerts and such...(interject conceited story here....this particular friend scored me Dave Matthews tickets this year, so I am going Apr. 18th to Charlottesville to see them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UUUUber excited about this one!....(back to what I was saying)....what was I saying? Oh right..resolutions. I think thirdly I have got to work on not sweating the small stuff. It is absolutely ridiculous when I think about the amount of time that I put into people who don't give a care! If people don't want to take the time to be my friends, then that's ok. I will live. I don't need to bust my butt off trying to win them over. I also don't need to be anyone's Saviour. THAT is just absurd! I have a God and so they. I don't need to put more pressure on myself to think that I need to fix anyone. Ok so now that I have brought everyone up to where I am at the start of 2009, onward to the purpose of this post...

I lost my electricity yesterday because of the ice we had in Lynchburg. Okay now we did not really get much ice, but somehow it managed to shut the power off, weird. Anyway! So it was a little cold, I do have gas logs but as I mentioned before about trying to get out of debt....cranking those suckers on would do no good in helping me SAVE money. So I looked at this as a great opportunity to potentially save at least $20 on my power bill haha. My roommate has a jeep kind of car so she was able to make it to school to work. I, on the other hand, was stuck because my car was in the garage. (For those that are thinking, "You can manually open it yourself, Kara"...I didn't think of this until too late..yes, yes, blonde I know!) SO! I did a little work from home. My boss constantly text messages me even when I'm not in the office anyway so this was no different than any other day. The dude would seriously lose his business if it weren't for me and I'm pretty much that is okay for me to say because he would admit it himself. He knows nothing without me. So back to me sitting in the cold dark..I tried to get my friend to come pick me up, but he couldn't. So then I'm thinking, Great! now what?!
For those that know me well, I hate being by myself for any extended period of time unless I am completely burned out. That is rare. So what do I do? Clean!! As I was cleaning, I prayed because to be honest, that can be the hardest thing for me to do. I just don't always think to pray, go figure! So I start talking out loud to God which is sometimes the best thing for me to do because my mind will start to wonder if I don't. It ended up being phenomenal! I found that I have been neglecting God. I actually have been putting my own ambitions in front of what maybe God has to say about my life. God totally needed this time of power outage to get my attention. I felt refreshed. And it wasn't really for that long. This all happened in a matter of maybe an hour. But I needed this. So the power outage...a blessing in disguise. So then when my friend called to check on me..he probably would've come and gotten me by then, but I decided, nah! I need to be with my Lord instead.

God is awesome like that, don't you think?