Healthy Lifestyle-Easier said than done!

My 7 day diet ended up bombing after day 5. I became sick with all the meat and tomatoes I had to eat that I decided it wasn't worth becoming sick! I had a heart to heart talk with my fiance about all of it too and he opened my eyes to the fact that I am always looking for "quick fixes". I love him so much for being able to be so open and honest with me! He is right most of the time too. I started to realize how many fast diets I have done and how many times I felt like I failed because I either didn't finish the diet or I didn't lose enough on it. So many times I have attempted to just live a healthy lifestyle by choosing to cook at home, take my lunch to work, watch how much I eat out. I fail at this a lot too. I don't want to get caught up in any fad diets that New Years will offer so I am choosing to just attempt this healthy lifestyle again. I am going to limit how often I eat out, pack my lunch, drink lots of water, and cook at home. I really do enjoy cooking so I need to get back into doing that! I also need to be honest on another issue...alcohol. I can consume quite a bit of it and I enjoy it. I don't drink for the purpose of getting drunk or even to get a buzz. I simply enjoy a glass of wine or beer with my meals. It is now become quite the issue with my weight though. I can consume more than the average woman can (according to many of my friends) and all it is is empty calories. So I have now asked my fiance to be a better accountability with me on this. We are both going to not drink when we go out to eat and limit how much we drink altogether. So here we go...good recipe finding and grocery lists galore!

Veggies and Food Network

I survived day 1!! I don't know what it is about being on a diet that drives me to torture myself by watching Food Network, but it happened last night. I was scanning my usual channels that I tend to watch frequently and I came upon "Drive-ins, Diners, and Dives" which is one of my favorite shows to watch. Why I decided to keep watching while I was eating on my fruit I have no idea. I even began going on Pinterest and pinning every good meal I could find that I think I may try to prepare after this kick off diet. Yea, real smart to come up with more recipes to make that will only add my weight back! Some actual positive beginnings to this diet were the encouraging comments I was able to receive from my fiance as well as one of my best friends. I shared with both of them this journey I am going to embark on and they both were very excited for me and did nothing but encourage me to stick with it. So this morning I started out my "All Veggie" day with a baked potato per the diets instructions and I am finshing up my morning routine so I can get to the Shred! In regards to my Spiritual journey, I received more confirmation in my quiet time with the Lord that He definitely has this whole diet/exercise plan in mind for me for a specific reason. In self motivating, I really am relying on Him all the more to be my strength and to help me in my health. It is a trust game I am playing with God once again. This season the Lord has me in right now is preparing me for marriage and I am learning that my relationship with God needs to be to a level of intimacy that will sustain even after I add my partner. I think as women we are susceptible to looking at our mate to be our savior too often. I don't want to do that as it is very dangerous! So I am taking this a day at a time and looking forward to great results!

A New Season Begins Spiritually and Physically

I am excited to launch this new blog with new title. There have been so many changes happening in my life that I am extremely excited about! The biggest change in my life has been getting engaged to the love of my life! We are currently in the midst of planning our wedding which is taking place in March 2013. I have become so consumed with my work schedule and planning this wedding that I have neglected many things. The number one priority in my life is my relationship with the Lord. I have my daily time with Him each morning, but it hasn't been enough. In addition to neglecting my relationship with God, I have also slacked majorly on my diet and exercise. I have reached a point where I have had enough. Or rather God has had enough. He slapped me in a big way this past weekend and also this morning with how I need to start devoting more time with Him as well as motivate myself to start losing the pounds. I know many women out there struggle with weight gain and finding the time and motivation to work out, eat right, etc. My hope is to use this blog now as a way for me to self motivate and track my weight loss progression as well as stay on target with where I am with the Lord. I do have my own personal journal that I write in each and every day but there is something to be said about putting struggles and vulnerability out on the internet. It can be a sort of accountability for me. In my past, I have been able to find work out buddies or roommates to diet with or eat healthy. The season of life that I am in right now does not allow for those "helps". It is time for me to find my own way to self-motivate. So here is where I begin...my weight right now is 155 (yes, I did put my weight on here). I am truly wanting to be back in the 130s but I do want to do this in a healthy manner. I have found certain diets to work for me and food changes to benefit me in weight loss in my past. One of these is what is called the GM diet. So Day One for me has consisted of doing Jillian Michael's Shred Video and eating only fruits today. I feel like this time that I will be spending on dieting and exercising is also increasing my faith. It becomes my time with God. The work out itself was extremely hard for me as I learned how much I am out of shape, but I finished! :) As a typical bride, I want to look good on my wedding day but also look good for my husband for the honeymoon and for many years after! So here we go on this new journey for me and for my spiritually and physically healthy new lifestyle.

Leaning on His promises

God has placed another testing of my faith before me. I am currently unemployed and am learning to trust Him in finding my new path soon. I used to look forward to the day where I didn't have to wake up to go to work everyday. I now miss that and it has only been 1 full week without a job. I am such a person of routine that this is throwing me for a loop. I like structure, plans, schedules, and knowing what I am doing from one day to the next. The Lord is breaking this of me. He is teaching me so much about relying solely on Him and letting go of my plans. I tend to need a refresher course in this lesson annually. Guess it must be that time again. I am standing on the promise that He has always been faithful to always show me my next step. The time that it may take in getting me to that step may vary. Leaning on His promises is the only thing that gets me from one day to the next. I am so very thankful for the support system that has surrounded me as well. I will count my blessings as my last job was creating nothing but burn-out for me anyway. I look forward to seeing what He has in store for me next.

Fear like Peter

As I was doing my QT this morning, I read the passage about when Jesus asked Peter to come to him which required Peter to have faith as he would walk on the water to Jesus. As soon as Peter began to focus on the circumstances that surrounded him (the wind, the water, etc) he started to sink. He let his fear take over his faith. How often do I do the same? All the time. This is just a lesson for me today as I recognize I have been letting circumstances overcome my faith in Jesus. By clinging to my Savior and seeking His face, it is only then that I can truly overcome the circumstances that surround me. In this life I am guaranteed to have all kinds of problems and struggles. I will face situations that will seem impossible to overcome. I will experience pain and strife when others disappoint me or hurt me, intentional or not. I must draw close to my Lord and Savior to be my strength and my shield. I can learn from Peter and see how quickly I can lose sight of Jesus, but also how quickly He is there to rescue me.

Passenger Seat

I have a serious disorder called control. I am constantly trying to take the wheel or sit in the driver's seat pretending I won't start the car. This week came to head for me last night as I was talking to my boyfriend about future events. It didn't come full circle to me until this morning when I was able to sit in the quiet of the Lord's presence that this has everything to do with a heart issue. I am not practicing patience, I am not leaning on God's understanding, I am not looking to His timing, and I am not seeking His will. I am wanting to go by my own agenda and by doing so I have ended up feeling rushed, unhappy, stressed, and moody. I wonder why.
For those that even take the time to read this blog will discover a little secret. My boyfriend and I are talking marriage. We both are confident in the fact that this is something the Lord has revealed to us both that He placed us together for good. What I know I have failed in is seeking the when, where, etc. I have taken control as I normally do and have done things the way I want them. There is so much going on in both of our lives at the same time that last night I finally started to admit, "maybe soon isn't the best idea". I am extremely anxious to marry this man. Once you find him, you want to just hit "play" and keep going. Especially at this stage in my life. When you are ready, you're ready.
Then I recalled the "practice what you preach". I am constantly telling my best friend and others in relationships to take their time. To enjoy each moment of their relationship bc its the dating phase that is the most fun. I have lost what that is and I am ashamed to admit it. He is still first and foremost my best friend. I have sadly taken away his leadership capabilities and decided things for myself. He has graciously gone along with everything because he only wants me happy and he is that type of person, but it is wrong. HE needs to lead me.
So back I go into the passenger seat. We may figure out that the time-line for this wedding will still take place when we were thinking, but I am calming down about that. God needs to reveal that to my guy. I don't want it revealed to me because then I will run with it again and back to the driver's seat I go. So I may as well get comfortable because the passenger seat is where I belong and where I must stay.

Wakeup call #2

Apparently even on a Saturday morning God did not want me to have any excuse for spending time with Him in the same way I had time yesterday morning. He woke me up again this morning a little closer to 4:30am but I stayed in bed until around 5:30. I finally surrendered any hope of going back to sleep and decided He needed my attention (as if He doesn't deserve my attention anyways).

This morning's lesson was about how many times I want to believe that my mistakes will cause the Lord to be upset with me to a point of loving me less until I understand the severity of my actions. I was reminded this morning of Romans 2:38-39 which speaks to this very lesson. The short version of these verses is that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God. Period. Those verses pretty much touch on any area that I could possibly conj-our up in my pea-headed brain. There is absolutely not reason for me to keep believing in a lie that if I mess up in my walk with God consciously or sub-consciously that HE will love me any less. I am still His daughter. I am still loved beyond measure. He knows every hair that is on my head and formed me in my mother's womb. He knows me inside-out. On days when I think Will knows me better than no other I am wrong. HE knows me and loves me more than even he can.

Bottom line, great wake up call #2.

5am wake up call

God woke me up around 5am this morning. This doesn't happen often but normally when it does, I don't fight trying to go back to sleep because I know I won't get to sleep. I got up, made my coffee, and started my quiet time. I was excited to read what my devotion talked about today because I figured if God had me up this early He obviously had something to say. Funny enough, my devotion was definitely worth reading but not necessarily worth a 5am wake up call. I finished my devotion and journaling my prayers and concerns and still waited for God to explain to me why I am up so early. Then I thought, does God really need to explain Himself to me?? Then I chuckle.

Then I realize as I have a few candles lit, my small decorative (not Christmas) tree lit, and the only sound is my heat cutting on and off that I haven't sat in the stillness for quite some time. Most of my neighbors are beginning to wake up, but there is a stillness this morning and it is very nice. Maybe all God wanted me for this morning was to sit in His stillness. To stop and be quiet for a little while and not really think on anything except just Him. I thought I would feel tired but I don't. In fact, I really do enjoy mornings like this if I can just drag myself out of bed. When I used to wake up really early for my job in Roanoke I actually enjoyed being up before it seemed the rest of the world was. My dad used to wake up early every morning no matter what day of the week it was. I used to think he was crazy and sometimes I still do because I am a person who requires a lot of sleep. I now understand that perhaps dad loved being up so early because it was only in the quiet that he could truly feel the Lord's presence. It was a time where as the rest of the family slept, he could be by himself with no distractions.

I hesitate to write that I would love to continue this tradition because I know it will require me dragging myself out of my comfy bed on mornings where I may not want to be up so early, but I do think God is teaching me a lesson even as I type this post. The reason so many people in Scripture rose early had nothing to do with it just being the culture and everything to do with God wanting us all to reflect on Him first as we rise. We can have this precious time with Him before we become so involved in our to-do lists and priorities at work. I have failed to remember how important this is. I have my QT with Him each morning but its as many thing already have started up. I would wake up already thinking of my to-do list that day, whereas waking this early gives me plenty of time to be with the Lord of Creation FIRST before my brain can even begin to process what the day holds.

My wake up call may not always be 5am, but it definitely needs to be earlier than what I've made it.