Stop This Train

This will be yet another post mainly to help my thoughts get placed together. John Mayer spoke to my heart as I was driving today "Honestly, won't someone just stop this train". This is how I feel today. To catch everyone up to speed, I was involved in a car accident on my way to Florida on spring break. 2 of my friends, Marlene and Danielle, were with me...no one was hurt to the point of needing long-term medical assistance, but we did go that night so the girls could get checked out. I am totally fine, which somehow does not seem completely fair since I was the one driving the car. Everyone keeps re-assuring me that 1)this accident was not my fault, so I shouldn't feel bad, and 2)it was good I was not injured so I could help my friends. I haven't seen it this way. I see it as I should have been the one who was hurt the worst. That is me trying to take on too much for myself though, which I ALWAYS do! God gets tired of me doing that, I'm sure! So anyways, since then I have been on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY with insurance companies. Luckily, I was not at fault...it was the guy 2 cars behind me who was, so he is getting hit with all kinds of bills, but I don't care whose fault it is...it is a hassle for everyone to deal with!! I have been sleeping really well at night, but I am still exhausted! I need a vacation from my vacation!
So today has been awful because I had to take my car to the adjuster of the guy at fault and he proceeds to tell me that my car is looking at total loss. I love my car and I didn't realize how much! It is awful for me to feel so strongly towards something so material, but I think there are a few factors here...1)my dad gave me that car as a graduation gift after high school, so it has sentimental value to me because it involves him, 2)that car has had SOOO many memories in it! 3)I normally am the friend who takes everyone everywhere, so my car has bonded with people. (I know this is silly, but hence why we have blogs so I can get my feeling written out), and 4)this car has never given me any problems! I'm really going to miss it if it's time for it to go. Who knows what will happen now. Right now I am driving around a rental, a mazda 6, which is a nice car, but I want mine haha.
Then I just feel sick. My back and neck have started hurting me worse, probably just from being sore afterwards, so now I need to make a docs appointment. Then I was stupid and signed up to do a handwriting assignment (Which I will get paid for, PTL), but why did I do this when I don't have time?! I am traveling the next 3 weekends, 2 of those weekends I am running 10ks. I haven't been able to train in the last like 2 weeks, so now I'm out of shape again. I have a friend who I feel I have hurt and I'm scared that we are going to be weird now. I don't like losing people due to my stupidity. I'm just a ball of emotions! I want to cry, but I know if I start...it will take me a while to stop, so since I don't have time to just sit and cry..I blog. It's insane. So to anyone who reads this, please please please pray for me! I am in desperate need of feeling God right now among all of this and I'm so consumed by it all that I'm not allowing myself to stop and just let Him comfort me. So I don't know what else to ask for you to pray about other than just pray that God will be BIG in this. Thanks all.