Affection

I am starting to realize how much of an affectionate person I am. This really makes me full of joy and I think it is because of my mom. As a disclaimer, I love my mom more than I thought I could love anyone. We have a special bond that I don't think is like other mother-daughter relationships I've seen. So what I am about to say is not suppose to be a total negative look at her, but my mom is just not an affectionate person. It's funny because we both probably look totally awkward if we ever hug or kiss each other. That part of us is actually kind of new. I know this might sound weird, but this is what I meant about us having a different kind of relationship. She does not really think to hug people in greeting them, her way of comforting is normally in words or in an act of service. She is not a physical touch woman. It is cool to see how God had her marry a totally affectionate man though! My dad was ALL about physical touch! I know that most men probably are, but he was in the sweetest sense. I remember every single night that he would come home from work, I was normally on the couch doing homework or watching tv and he would always come in "Hey Sweets!!" And come and kiss me on my forehead and stroke my hair as he asked how my day was before he went to change clothes. Every single night! And then some nights or days that I would be in my room for an extended period of time, he would come upstairs and start hugging on me and just wanting to talk. He needed to touch me in some way every time I entered a room. It used to get on my last nerves and I would pull the whole, "daaaad!!" haha. I miss it now though. He was the same with my mom. I remember on Sunday afternoons, they would normally curl up on the couch together and fall asleep watching football. I didn't realize until now how precious that was for me to observe. I got to truly see my parents be loving their entire 26 years of marriage. What a gift! (Thank you, Lord!). So in finding that I am more like my dad really soothes me. Internally, I always had the fear that I would be more closed to affection like my mom. Although, it isn't that she is closed, that just isn't her personality. But I find that I just love physical touch. I am starting to be like my dad...with every friend I see and even new ones that I greet, I have to touch them. I know once I get into a relationship, we may be sitting in a restaurant, and I will be the one who will need to reach out every now and then just to have him touch me for a few seconds, then I'll be fine :). I love cuddling, hand holding, hugging, kissing, a simple brush of the arm, fingers through the hair, arm around me as I walk. Even as I type these things, I smile. I find that I end up blogging a lot about what warms my heart, but I truly do feel that! A warmth in my heart when things are just how they should be. I'm glad God created us to be people of love and affection. I'm glad I am a touchy expression of affection.

Coffee Date

I'm in the mood to blog and I'm not real sure what about, but I am feeling stressed and I find that the best thing for me to do is to just write. This week has been a real whirlwind. That doesn't make it much different from other weeks, I love staying busy. I love leaving one thing and going right into the next. I don't have to have much downtime :) Altho when I think about it, some of those activities I do are downtime with friends. I started this week with a new routine of going to the Muse every morning. This quaint little coffee shop is right down the street from where I live. It's rather convenient. Especially for my love of coffee!! I decided to start doing this as a help to me for 2 reasons. The first is the most important. I must confess that my time in the Word lately has been severely lacking due to my laziness. Lame-o!! I have never been one to want to make my daily time with God something to add to a to-do list, but at the same time...it's what I need to do. Just like making time for any friend I have in my life, for the most important person ever, deserves MUCH more attention, SO I had to pencil Jesus in every morning on my schedule. I need to start with God and end with God. Everyday. I also was starting to realize that simply staying in my house to read my Bible and pray was making my perspective of "God-time" seem dull. And dull does not equal God. SO! In lieu of the fact that I am SUCH an extroverted people person, I needed to find a quiet but public place to go. I feel more connected to God when I am connected to others. I love being surrounded by others as I read how to be more like Him and as I pray for others. It warms my heart. So that is what I do. My second reason in doing this is so that I am more productive at my job. I found that I was running into my job late every morning and feeling panic as I started the 50,000 tasks Jarad leaves for me to do everyday. Now, I enter my office feeling peace and I'm ready to tackle whatever is thrown at me. I am totally excited about this new routine. I am ready to be renewed in different areas in my life. Life's a dance, learn as you go :)

Girl Bashing

Sorry girls but I am abandoning our gender today in terms of how we treat men. This will not apply to ALL women, but I have started making some clear observations on some girls who are just absolutely ridiculous! And I've had it! I will be directing my bashing on two types on women. Let's start with the first, "The un-deserving ones". These are the type that CHOOSE to linger on men, actually BOYS, that don't have their act together and treat women like crap! Girls, why are you even friends with these guys?! He obviously (to quote that new movie) is just not that into you! Do not continue to allow him to take advantage of you! Drop him! It is a lie for you to believe that this guy will change once you are in a relationship. It is a lie to believe that you deserve this guy. God did not design relationships to be this way. I can speak from experience that you put everything into this man, you serve him unconditionally only to be heart-broken because he does not reflect the same feelings back. He does not serve you, he uses you. He takes advantage of you. You are a convenience to him! When he is lonely, he calls you. Don't for one minute think that he is being a true, real friend or boyfriend to you. You don't need to waste your time on someone like this. There are real guys out there who do want to be your friend and serve you! They are gentlemen! I am lucky to have found some of these. And there is a man who is worthy to be your husband. He will take care of you and you of him! So stop attaching yourselves to these jerks who don't know how to treat people and then expect "pity conversations" from your friends telling you, "oh he must have just had a bad day, or he'll come around". Lies, lies, lies. You deserve so much more!

The second woman I am speaking to is the "User, non-commitment, flirt". You women make me so mad! Maybe you are sitting there wondering if that fits you...let me clarify exactly what I mean. These are the women that I think, unfortunately, a lot of guy get attracted to. Why, I have no idea. These are women who have lots of guys who are after them, but the girl does not feel the same, yet she continues to lead them on. She may have already let the guy know that there is no interest on her part, but she continues to call the guy constantly...she goes everywhere that he goes. When she talks to him, she is pretty much throwing herself on him by constantly grabbing his arm, or hugging him, or laughing a little too much at his jokes. This is confusing for guys, ladies! Don't do this! I'm not saying you can't be friends with this guy, but remember that continuing to flirt in the same way that you want to is not appropriate. And also, we all know that you are pretty so as you are talking, stop looking around the room to see who is checking you out! I hate that! I see this happen so much!! Girls will toss their hair, giggle a lot (even with girls) and the whole time their friend is telling them this in-depth story, they are checking out the scene to see if anyone is noticing her. Ugh! Stop! And I'm sorry to say that I am noticing that a lot of college girls do this. It's so unattractive! I'm sure I was like this to a certain degree maybe in high school, but I wish I had someone to tell me what I'm saying now because honestly, I must have looked like a total idiot and I was making myself seem available when I wasn't. Which brings me to another point about these girls...they talk about how being in commitments doesn't make them feel free. They can't be who they want to be in relationships, that is total BS! Since when does a relationship confine you to be who you want to be?! It's a matter of the right person coming along to be with you to support you in who you are! So stop being this total flirt to these amazing guys who actually want a commitment, but are wasting their time on you who isn't looking for anything. There are some of us who are waiting for these committed guys to find us who are ready to be in a relationship and stop all this "dating guy to guy" business. I'm sure I'm not the only girl who has or does feel this way and I'm sorry to be so brash, but enough is enough! Ok The end :)

Career Builders Over Tea

My roommate likes to rave to others about my pancake-making skills. I do enjoy cooking, especially for others. I have just recently really started to get back into cooking the way I did my senior year of college in my little apartment. I used to whip out all kinds of Food Network recipes to try and escape to my little cooking world. I am one who prefers to cook alone. I love it if people make themselves comfortable in the kitchen, but I like doing all the effort. I am sure that part of that is so I can take all the credit if it is good (selfish I know.) OR if it is bad...I can also take the blame. So my Bible study girls starting talking the other night over a nice cup of tea about these wonderful pancakes AKA slaphappys. I think I've already given the history of slaphappys and how they came about, so I won't delve into that. These girls were getting so excited though at the thought of me opening up a breakfast place. We started coming up with different recipes. I probably should have been writing those down. We came up with a location, what the atmosphere would be like, names of dishes, hours of operation, investors, etc. I found myself getting really pumped and had to remind myself that this was not actually happening haha. It felt like a trustee meeting. These girls were going to be a part of the whole thing, coming up with the game plan, encouraging me as if I were going to present it to some head honcho Monday morning. I am not seriously considering this idea yet, but I'm wondering if this could be something. Over the summer I started playing with the idea of a bed and breakfast. That would be more costly, but I was more interested in the breakfast part anyway. Would Lynchburg need another breakfast place? All we have now is Cracker Barrel, IHOP, and Waffle House. All greasy spoons if you ask me. I do eat there though so don't take offense because where else is there to go to go out to breakfast?? It's kind of a fun thought. If anyone has been to Nashville and gone to the Pancake Pantry...this is my inspiration. A constant line forms outside of this place on a daily basis. The smells that hit you as soon as you walk through the door; sweet syrup, fluffy cakes, fresh-brewed coffee. A very family friendly, yet college feel place. I like it! No..I LOVE it! I went there twice in the 4 days I stayed in Nashy. Who knows, maybe later down the road, Slaphappys will be.

Truth Vs. Lie

So a few girls and I have started this new Bible study called The Truth Project. Pretty much it is completely rocking my world! The basis of the whole study is around why do you believe the things that you believe? Why is the Bible truth? Is the Bible truth? Etc. It’s pretty awesome stuff! I’ve really become enveloped in this whole learning more about Truth vs. Lies. I believe that without knowing it, the world has begun to overcome my worldviews. How disturbing is that? That Satan, coming in all silent like that…wow. And it is not just me that has started believing these ridiculous lies. There is a battle out there! I think it is so easy to allow the black and white morales of life to fade to gray. Our generation has become such a “feelers” generation. When did that happen?? We don’t want to offend people in telling them that they are wrong, or worse, we don’t realize that there is a wrong and a right! There is always a truth and a lie! You can’t be in the middle! I’ll get from behind the pulpit now…that’s basically been what we’ve uncovered so far through this study. I have known about all this already but for some reason it is really starting to resonate with me. I am loving it! I'm sure there will be more to come on this topic as I embark deeper...

In other news, training for my two 10ks is going well. I still really hate running with a passion, in fact while I am running I am saying that to myself haha. But I love the feeling you get afterwards. You are totally tired and totally sweaty, but you feel refreshed. I am stoked about the Richmond 10k because I found out this is one of the largest races in the nation! There is something like 30,000 people already signed up. Talk about chaos! But there are several of us doing it together so it will be good motivation!

I am also pumped about this week because my friend Lindsay and I are heading down to Myrtle Beach on Thursday after work for our own “Valentine’s getaway”. I did this last year with Mar and it was a total blast! I mean sure, we are basically surrounded by couples the whole weekend, but it’s totally fun! We dress up one night and go out on the town then pretty much stay in our PJs and veg the rest of the time by the beach. It’s glorious! I have come to love my little travel vacas lately.

Season of Friends

You know, I get really sad when I think about how much friendships can change. I am the type of person that likes having really close relationships with people instead of just simply knowing hundreds. I like having a close knit of people that I really share my whole life story with. I can probably count on my hands how many people I do that with. It is just unfortunate though how life just simply can change that. Living in Lynchburg, you get used to it. It is such a transitional place to live. People are always coming and going. I have a few of my really close friends who do not live here anymore. I keep in contact with them, but it is definitely hard. I just want to take a few warm fuzzy moments to talk about my good friends...
My best friend Heather lives in NOVA. I miss her terribly because she knows me the best out of everyone that I know. She and I were college roommates. We were randomly put together our freshman year and we totally just hit it off. I love her dearly!! We have both been through a lot in our own personal lives, and we have seen each other through it all. She was totally there while my dad was sick and then in his passing and I will never forget that!! She always knows the right things to say, she is definitely more blunt than I am when it comes to things and she does not care what people think about her when she expresses her opinions, but I love that about her. She is such a blessing in my life and I praise God that we still have each other, even living away from each other.

This is my beautiful roommate Marlene. Man, words probably can't express how much of a stronghold she has been for me this past year. Her and I are so different from each other and friends laugh to see how well we live together. She is a total SO CAL girl :) Her heart will forever be in San Diego and she absolutely HATES this cold weather that we get in Lynchie. Her and I have made it through some hard times as we both go through this "20 something slum" every now and then. She is a true woman of God who is constantly having to remind me to have "open palms" with situations in my life to allow God to work. She is inspirational and I am so blessed that she lives with me!



This is Ash Bash. I love this picture of her because this just a typical "Ash" expression :) Here is another one of my best friends who now does not live here anymore. She moved back home to NC last Spring and I definitely miss her tremendously! I could always depend on her to tell me exactly how something is. She will be the first to tell you that sometimes she lacks compassion when it comes to giving advice. But you know, sometimes we don't need stuff to be so mushy-gushy. Sometimes I need the cold hard facts of life. What she may not know is that even though she thinks she lacks compassion, the way that she expresses her love for others is totally ministry-minded. She is always wanting to better herself in the Lord which I totally look up to. Her and I pretty much just love to laugh together. She has seen me through a lot of those same hard times that Marlene had to see me through. In fact the two of them were my accountability for quite a while. I don't get to talk to Ash as much as I would like, mainly because we both hate the phone, but we do know how much we love each other and will always be there for one another.

Adam Wise. Everyone in Lynchburg knows this guy, I am convinced! And everyone who knows him can't help but just smile when they say his name because he is so darn hilarious! I am sure he would be surprised to make this "friend momento" list, but he is up there when I consider people whom I am close with. When him and I first met, I really feel that he helped me sort some crap in my life out. Again, he may not know this. He was there for me more than he realizes. I feel that I have seen him go through his share of ups and downs. He is a man of the Lord so he is always game to share with others about God's awesome Truth. His musical talent astounds everyone and he is always such an amazing entertainer at his shows. We know that God is going to do great things with him with his music and hopefully as "The 3clectic" grows.
Katie and Heather. Oh man...these girls. Ok so we all started hanging out this past summer and they made my summer!!! We had MANY wonderful in-depth life discussions on Adam's front porch. We consumed alot of fried dough and sno shack! And it seems that we went out to eat pretty much all the time. Individually...Heather is my encourager. She would on any given week, take time out of her day to send me a card or send me a funny email just to make my day. I loved it! She was always there to be a listening ear whenever I needed to vent. Katie is like sunshine on a rainy day :) She always has such a cheerful disposition and it is contagious! She is very easy-going which I need more of in my life...ha! She is a fashionista! The deals that she is able to get on a shopping spree is quite amazing! She is one to give me great advice because she is able to think outside of the box, in my opinion. Both of these girls gave me a lot of laughs....and both of them no longer live here either. Katie is in Roanoke which, thankfully, is not far. And Heather is now in Florida.

Finally, this is James. He is totally just like my brother. In fact one of our friend's moms thought we really were related. Hilarious. James is a deep thinker. He likes to look at things from all angles before giving what he believes to be right or true. He is definitely doing all things right to live whole-heartedly for Christ!! I am so proud of how he really tries to live in the way that men should live. He is going to make an awesome husband to someone someday and I can't wait until he finds her! (Sorry if that embarressed you bro). James is my guy mind. If I have a question about anything pertaining to men...I go to James. He gives me a perspective that my girl friends can't. He is trustworthy and honest. He actually just moved to Richmond because he is helping to start a church there and I am totally stoked for him. Luckily that is my home town so I know I will get to see him often, but it is still sad to have another close friend move away.


So there you have it. Those that I mentioned there are who I consider the glue to my life. Yes, I do have other friends and if I did not mention you in this blog, please do not be offended. You know I love everyone deeply..it's just a matter of the time spent with each of these and the things that we have been through together. Good times. So for me...when people talk of seasons of friends...yeah I can think of a few that may be that way, but I think I'm pretty good about choosing friends that are here for the long-run, no matter what life may bring. I love each of you guys so much and thank you for being little blessings for me! I hope that in reading this, you were able to see how you look in my eyes. Don't ever change anything about yourselves and how our relationships are....they are perfect the way they are. You are all beautiful and I pray God continues to bless each of you as we continue this journey of life.

2 Miles and Man Blues

So my friend Lindsay convinced me to start training for this 10k in Charleston, SC that is in April. I didn't really want to do it at first, but after her talking about it so much, she got me to cave. I started this week because now we are running not one, but two 10ks. The first is in Richmond for the Massey Cancer Center. This will be near and dear to my heart as this was where my dad spent some time while he was battling cancer. I think there is even something named after him there, like a door or something. Who knows, but it is important to support this center to me. The second 10k will be my real challenge. So anyway, last night I ran 2 miles!! I'm not a runner at all, this was a huge accomplishment for me! But today I totally started to freak out thinking about this race. I don't know if it is the thought of whether I will be ready or not, or if it is the thought of doing totally terrible at the race. Who knows, but it really got me down today....which then brought on the man blues. Let me explain..my roommate and her sister cane up for this phrase to use when you start thinking about wanting a man in your life but you don't have one. This happened to me today. I started thinking about how much of me just wants to find that husband of mine, but not knowing how much longer I have to wait for the Lord to bring him along. I know that he will be worth the wait and I will probably say things like "Oh, I would have waited another 5 years to have this one". But it is hard when you have those days where you just feel kind of lonely. I won't dwindle on this thought the entire day because that doesn't make anyone feel good, but for now...a little sadness will cover me.