Transition

We all know what it is like to face different seasons of life. Pivotal shifts where relationships come and go, faith is stretched, life circumstances just seem to completely change. I always was under the impression that these "transition periods" would only occur once every few years. Wrong-o! I have come to realize that I am experiencing another pivotal shift in my life as of late. My last transition period was just last year when God just starting moving in my life in such a way that was just rocking my world, most in all good ways. A few relationships faded, one particular broke, but new relationships and experiences happened that outweighed all of that. It was truly an amazing time. One that maybe was a long time coming. Being that this was all just one year ago, I did not see this shift coming. I thought God had brought me to such a place where I felt satisfied with life, a sort of contentment, excited to see where God was moving me, and knowing I was staying with the attitude of all things new!!
Lately I started to feel off the path though. I think, without realizing it, I was making MY plans (again). How often must I go through this?? MY plans never work. It is HIS plans that will bring me joy, peace...fruit. Had I taken my eyes off my Father? No, I don't believe I have. In fact, my relationship with Him in this past year has grown in ways that I could not imagine and it has been awesome!! But you see, just because our eyes might be on God doesn't mean Satan takes any steps back. Satan knows that I can have a controlling tendency and also knows where to hit me when it comes to insecurity. My placement lately has felt off. Am I where God wants me? Am I doing what He wants me to do? How can I be glorifying Him more daily?
It came to my on one of my drives (this is where I have a lot of God-talk time) that I am being put through another transition in my life. My close friends feel that I am on the cusp of something big. God is going to do a big work in me. I think I feel that too. I still have such a frustration in dealing with it though. The process to getting to "that something big" is really tearing me up. My spirit has felt down, my dreams of what I thought life was getting ready to look like has been put away on the back burner, and I continue to hear the word "wait". I do get excited to think about how far I have come since last year and if I am going on another roller coaster ride with my Jesus, then buckle me in! I want my desires to become what He wants, no longer what I want even if they appear to be God things...everything will be brought by prayer and petition first. I cannot go through anymore heartbreak, broken relationships, feelings of despair or loneliness. I also cannot control. It is open hands only from here on out. Transition, here I come...again.