Greater Things

Hello blog world. Oh how I have neglected you. Well I do feel that there is much to update on. First of all, the most exciting news...I am now a part of church planting! My last blog spoke about the beginnings of perhaps being a part of this. It has now come into play and I was right about feeling the nudge from God. He threw me in full fledged, and I am soo excited about greater things that have yet to come. I have become part of a ministry called Rhythm that happens in Roanoke on Thursday nights. It came from going to this that I really felt the tug on my heart to follow our leader into this church vision. I am ready and geared to be a part of a body that is going to be diving deep into the Word and disciple others whole-heartedly! I have come to know many people from going to Rhythm. Great friendships are being made and I love that! I just cannot believe that I ever worried that I was going to be this lonely, sad person over the summer. The exact opposite has happened! What a wonderful gift!

On a more serious note, things is my family are really going through a shift. My mom is getting re-married. If I am being completely honest, which most of the time I am, I am dealing with this the best I know how. I completely support my mom and could not be more happy for her. But with every step that she takes in moving forward, it slowly kicks my dad out of the picture. This is the way it should be for her, but it stinks for the kids. I do like the man she is going to marry. He treats her well and makes her happy. No one could ask for better. He is a great leader and I know that he will support her in anything she does. He pretty much does not possess much that my dad did, which is good or else there would be a comparison game. He is a lot quieter than my dad though which is totally weird. I get my loud mouth from my dad so I'm not used to the house being so quiet! haha. But whatever, new things!
Also, as of this week, my family has gotten some rather scary news. There is a chance that my sister has cancer. The doctor wants her to get an MRI because he is basically looking for cancer in her back. Unfortunately her insurance is not wanting to cover it, so it has become a nightmare. Luckily, our doctor has graciously taken over and become fight club on the insurance on our behalf. There is definitely the chance that she does not have cancer, but of course this does scare me that she might. I just cannot imagine going through this all over again. I have tried to keep my attitude up, to just put my Trust in the Lord that everything is going to work out, but it is totally hard. So if you read this, please pray. I will try to update on this topic more often so that you may know what is going on.

All in all, life is wonderful! God is good and I am so excited to see how He works because either way, it will be for His glory!

Thoughts Needing Discernment

Recently a good friend of mine described perfectly by saying I am an all or nothing type individual. How true this is. Being this type of person has its pros and cons. What I have found to be a major con is I am too quick to become energetic about visions or decisions. I do feel that I have a knack for discernment in terms of knowing pretty quickly whether something will be right or wrong. The downfall is I will jump into a situation without getting God's thoughts on the matter. Sometimes it turns out fine and the Lord gives me wisdom as I dive right in. Most of the time though, I should have taken the time to really pray about something before going into the unknown. So here is me slowing down to really process and ask for discernment and wisdom about a situation that I am extremely excited about. This morning I did not go to church because I did not sleep well last night and felt sick. So instead I started listening to a few podcasts. I came upon a podcast of this "church" that I have gone to a few times that I have really loved. I say "church" because they do not consider themselves a church, better a community of believers who gather together to preach and worship the Lord. After all, that is what church is anyways. I think we have gotten caught up in the word "church" and "religion" too much and have missed what having a true desire and relationship with Christ is...that can be another blog. Anyways, so I was listening to the vision of what this leader was proposing about this once a week gathering. I was completely just praising God for every sentence that he was saying because here is a man who is just simply listening to what God wants him to do. And all he wants to do is preach out of God's Word, and to give off this life of joy that he has in Christ, in hopes that it will seep out into this gathering of students each week. I am excited about this! I have felt a lack in hope about the church for some time. I felt renewed and refreshed to hear that someone is actually doing what the Bible says! And that is the mission. Simple. When I finished the podcast, I immediately wanted to just drop everything and start getting involved with this ministry and even start looking for a new place to live just so that I can be closer to this community. It is not in Lynchburg. And even better, the focus is on college students and young adults. A passion that God has started forming in me as of late. None of this is coincidence, but I also know that a moment of pause needs to happen. How does God want me to go about this? I can already feel that this is what He wants me to do because this is what He wants every Christian to do! To just go and do and glorify Him!! I just need wisdom on how. I know by putting my trust in Him, my path will be straight it will become clear and evident on how everything will fall into place. I am excited beyond belief to have finally found something that I believe God is calling me to. It has been a long time since I've felt the call of God. So Amen to that! Now I just ask for your prayers as well! Pray that God gives me that wisdom and discernment. And I hope that you will also be praying for yourselves that God will show you where you need to GO! Love and Blessings!

Voice=Found!

So I realized that my last post was perhaps very vague, so I thought I would take the time to elaborate on just how amazing my life is going right now. First I must preface this post by having everyone reading maybe 2 or 3 posts ago to get to full effect of just how powerful this story really is! I was in such a rut, loss of joy, etc. But I had a revival in my heart. Nothing in particular happened, I just woke up one morning and decided that it was time to change. I had joy coming back, my love for God just starting flowing over. I started to feel how depleted I had been feeling for so long. My Spirit was starving and I was the problem in making it starve. I started to just accept the fact that certain circumstances in my life may not be things that I believed to be "good timing" and realized that God has me in this particular place in my life for a reason. And that reason is GOOD! And I became absolutely, without a doubt, great with where God has me. Contentment, finally!! Can I get an AMEN?! And if that were not enough, I started meeting all these new people that God has been bringing into my life that just add to encouragement in my life. I found myself being the class clown again. I am making everyone laugh again, everyone actually enjoys being around me. For so long I struggled with this. I didn't feel like I was "me". But now, I'm back!! So if that were still not enough, I proceed to go to this lake cook-out where I knew only about 3 people, but I was totally stoked about new people that I would meet...again, I was back. The Kara I knew loved experiences like this. After all, I am an open-book, I will talk to anyone! I love hearing people's stories, and I love sharing mine! I want to hear about how God is moving in their life, or maybe even how God may not be present in their life. Either way, I love meeting new people. So I go to this cook-out and it was truly one of the best days I have had in a really, really long time! This is where God really showed off....so a bunch of us are sitting there on this dock, sunset, watching the water cast shadows of the reds, purples, yellows, and orange from the sky...I'm just wrapped up in God's splendor...so I turn to my friend Lindsay and go "Lets start singing some worship songs"...ok so you may be asking yourself, "how is that such a big deal Kara?" I'll tell you why! For the past 4 or 5 years, I have struggled with my singing voice. The short of the story is I felt rejected for my voice in college and had never experienced that before so I came to the conclusion that I sucked and God obviously took away my gift from me. So I became embarrassed to sing in front of anyone. My best friend was the only one who still heard me. I would sing along in the car, but more quietly when others were there for fear of them thinking I was tone-deaf and just plain awful. Granted, I did have some friends that heard me and still encouraged me by saying I was good, but I never really believed them. This was an issue I had with myself. I had taken upon myself my gift from God...I made it about me. Never do this! Ok so back to the lake...so after I said that, we started singing, just her and I. Let me write that again...I STARTED SINGING!! And it was not just the 2 of us sitting there. I had a small audience of friends that I literally had only known for maybe 2 days. And the best part, I forgot they were all there when I started singing. It was totally about God and me just wanting to worship to Him. Ok so we finish and then I get told how good of a singer I am. And when that was said, I realized what had just happened. Tears filled my eyes, but I shoved them down so these new friends wouldn't think I was some crazy emotional girl. (They will find that out later ha). And when they started telling me how pretty it sounded, I knew it was all genuine. And it wasn't about me this time. God totally took it all! So then we all started singing for the next like 2 hours! It was freaking awesome! That moment was precious and ever since then I have not been able to shut up! My voice is back. And maybe to some I don't sound that great, but again...it is not about me! So hence my "All Things New" slogan from here on out. My life is awesome and I am blessed beyond measure. And I'm excited to see where God takes me next on my journey with Him!

All Things New

I just wanted to share what I believe to be a great revival that has been happening my my heart and attitude here lately. It has been completely amazing!!!! I have found my peace and my joy come flooding back to me! For so long, so many people would come up to me and ask, "Kara, what is wrong with you these days?" And I would never know the answer, but I knew something was wrong too. Well, Kara is back and in full swing ladies and gentlemen! And it feels so good!!! I truly am thankful that we have such a big God who does make all things new. That is how I feel. I feel that I have been re-charged. I have been meeting all kinds of new people lately, developing some really touching friendships, and just experiencing God in a whole new way thru this new people. God is faithful and I am blessed. I just thought I'd share :) Love <3

Wall Breaking

I really love times when I meet new people and automatically there is that "click" that happens. I often wonder if it is because I find people like me who open up so quickly. I love when I find that. I feel that life is too short to have surface level friendships. Why should we waste so much time getting to know someone only to put up walls?? I can totally tell when someone puts up a wall with me and it causes me to think that I have done something to make them place that wall there. I realize that many people like keeping distance with people and don't like sharing every particular part of their lives with others, but I often wonder why not? Is it a trust issue? Do you fear that they will use that information as blackmail to you later? Do you reserve these types of stories for whomever you will marry one day? What is the reason behind this? IS there is a reason? I'm interested and intrigued by why people like surrounding walls around them. Maybe I have a lesson to learn in needing to put up more. Maybe there is a legit reason as to why someone should "guard" themselves. I'm not speaking of guarding hearts here, I'm just focusing on sharing one's life with others. Your hurts, your hang-ups, what makes you tick, how you are most encouraged, etc.

I'm Covered

I have been so encouraged by everyone who has contacted me to tell me you are praying for me. And it goes beyond that, you guys are checking on me just about everyday. I honestly cannot tell you how much this means to me!! It is awesome totally awesome to see that people that I am just getting to know are almost the most concerned for me haha. It's so great how God uses people that you least expect! It's really cool. Anyway, so I figured I should just bring everyone up to speed as to how I am doing even though it's only been a few days. I will be honest and say that I am not completely great, but I have to say that tonight was a great turning point for me, I think. I will back up to yesterday...I did something that I've never done before. I went and saw a movie by myself. To those who may not know me very well...I hate doing anything by myself. But I have been feeling like God is wanting me to use this time to be alone, so why not keep doing the things I want to do?? And yesterday, I wanted to see a movie, so I went! It was a little weird at first, but after the movie started, it was all good. So today I did not work, once again, but I ended up not being home all day and encountered 3 different people to hang out with for different periods of time. It was really wonderful! And all of them, unplanned!

So then tonight I decided to go to campus church. I haven't been in a while, so I thought why not? I am so glad I went!!! My friend Tiff and I decided we would just go for the worship time. God decided to be funny...all we did was worship! There was no sermon, all totally rocking out to God through music. This is how I connect with God most!! And tonight we sang "Jesus' Blood". Wow. It hit me tonight in such a powerful way. And all night, each time anyone spoke, they talked of people hurting and just leaving things at the altar. God was totally speaking directly to me though them. So I hope that I left things at that altar tonight. Please keep praying for me, but I was glad to see glimpses of hope and joy through the cracks tonight. God is Good!

Another great song we sang tonight, these are the lyrics sticking with me still..
"All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship"

Dave Matthews- A plead for Help

I feel that I have so much to write...I'm running on a low amount of sleep as well so hopefully everything I am about to say will make sense. So last night one of my life goals was accomplished. I got to see The Dave Matthews Band in concert! The concert was better than I could even dream, I loved everything about it!! They def. do not disappoint so if you are a fan, I highly recommend going!! My friends Marlene, Katie, and Adam all went and the girls are not avid fans, but they both were having a blast! I was not able to take in my camera to the show itself, so all I have are a few pics from our dinner at Chili's. At the concert, there was of course drinking and marjuana, but actually not as much as I thought there would be. We had the privilege to be right next to a row of tokers who lit up the entire concert, the aroma was just fabulous. Totally kidding! I was really enjoying the concert, I danced almost the entire time, screamed and clapped ALOT, it was all in all a blast. We got back real late and last night I started having a broken heart for everyone in that arena as I went to bed, but shoved it down since sleep was more important to me at the time. Wrong thing to do. God woke up me earlier than I was expecting to me up. And my mind has been going ever since...I know I shouldn't make assumptions that majority of the people at the concert were non-believers, but I'm going to anyway. The crowd that I was around and those that I was able to watch, if they do know Jesus, they perhaps have just either not understood what it means to live for Christ, or they are ignoring it. I then observed many people quite literally worshipping this band. I was telling my friends after the show that I even feel funny raising my hands up at a concert because this is how I worship God, so even though I know I am not worshipping the DMB, the simple act of raising both hands feels weird. My heart just broke for these people. It made me more aware than I have felt in a long time of just how worldly people are. How much I need to be more active in showing Christ to others. I'm not saying I will not attend concerts such as these because of that reason. If anything, it makes me want to go more so that hopefully God uses me in these places. Maybe people noticed that none of us were consuming things. Perhaps they thought, "Man are those people not having fun or what?" But then to observe us dancing, laughing, and still having a great time could maybe affect someone. Who knows. So I had those thoughts which then led into other thoughts...

I know I have written over and over again in these last few weeks, maybe months I don't know about my attitude. I think this morning I have realized that I need to ask for much needed prayer. The truth of the matter is, I am struggling. And it is a hard thing for me to write that because I never want anyone to look at me thinking that I am not my normal, encouraging self, but I'm not. I am finding it hard to get up each day feeling that I am making a difference in people's lives. I feel that those that I am around, I am not helping. I am trying to meet people's needs (which I know I need to stop because that isn't my job), but I am just trying to be a mere friend and that ends up blowing up in my face. Now before you start thinking to yourself, "oh crap, is she talking about me?"...I honestly know that most of this stuff is in my head. But it isn't going away. I come home and I am just plain sad. I go out and I am just plain sad. And people are taking notice of this! This is when people start asking, "What's wrong?" "Did you have a bad day?" "Kara, what's your problem?" And honestly, I don't have an answer! I didn't even realize that I wasn't faking it enough. I thought I was still coming across as bubbly Kara. Several people remind me how apparently my smile and laugh are contagious and how they haven't really seen or heard it as much as they used to. I don't know what else to say to this except that I am sorry. I don't really know what is going on with me these days. So all I know to do is to ask for prayer. And that is totally hard for me to do and I don't know why that is either. I think I feel ashamed with me right now. I feel numb. I am praying that this is because I am getting ready to have something really big happen with me. Maybe God is getting ready to move in my life in such a way that it's going to be awesome. I don't know. Just pray please.

And finally another prayer request...I have been wondering if perhaps these feelings are because I am refusing to move. I keep thinking about Nashville a lot. I don't know if this is because this is a place that I just really loved when I visited Marlene, or if God is trying to get me to go? This is, of course, a little scary as I feel that I love my job here so finding another one in this economy could be really hard. Then again, if God wants me to go, I know He will supply me with my needs. Then I think, oh man...I'm going to go and be alone...but then I think...well I feel like that a lot of time here in Lynchburg too. My friends are slowly all moving away anyways. All of this is just taking a lot of brain space for me right now. And I am at a loss as to what to do. So I just write to plead for you guys, all who care, to pray. Please love on me, encourage me, remind me of God's provision.

I know this was all a lot. Who knew my post about my Dave Matthews experience would end on such a sad note. For that, I am sorry. This was just my plead for help. Thanks.