Becoming Domestic...maybe

I have been terrible at this whole blogging thing, but I always think about writing a new post and then never do it. I always feel more of a need to write when I have reached another large stepping stone in life. A lot has changed for me in the last year or so. The best and biggest change has been I am now a wife! Finally! I have always been the kind of girl when people ask what did I want to be when I grew up, my answer was always a wife and mom. Well the mom thing is not going to be happening anytime soon and to be honest is more something I wrestle with God about in prayer. I have too many feelings of fear and lack of faith in myself to think I could be a good mom. Plus, my husband has 3 children of his own so I guess you could say I already have a glimpse of what motherhood is all about. Since becoming married, I am not working as much at my job. Many people, both men and women, do not full understand why I would want to be at home more. It seems we live in a world now where many women are in the workforce and really have no desire to be stay-at-home wives or moms. I do understand many of them are left with no choice as bills pile up, mouths need to be fed, and they HAVE to work in order to help support their families. Kudos to them! For me, I truly have just never felt called to work. I do realize this may come across that I am simply just a lazy person. I am sure there are people out there who think this means I want to just sit around at home all day watching soap operas while eating bon-bons. Such a cliche way of thinking. But here is my reasoning to being a stay-at-home wife (and maybe one day mom). First, I know a large reason does come from my own upbringing. My mom stayed home with me while I was growing up. She did work up until she had me, but she did cut back on her hours once she was married as well. I believe part of my thinking also comes with the simple fact that I feel this IS my calling. Sure, my husband and I struggle financially like everyone else does. We are currently in the midst of trying to eliminate debt and rack up our savings so we can live comfortably at a retirement age. We are blessed that he has a job that he, for the most part, enjoys and can possibly have an early retirement. I would rather us have to eat PB&J sandwiches and Ramen Noodles for dinner in order to sacrifice me being home. I desire to learn to sew and possibly even have my own quilt business. Those who know me already know I can be extremely OCD when it comes to cleaning so this is always a daily chore for me. Are there days where I don't feel like doing much of anything and want to just sit on my butt? Sure. But then I think, my husband is out there working his butt off...I need to make myself productive and do things around the house! Sometimes I think I was meant to live in the days of the 50s where most women did work in the home. They made their own curtains, cooked for most of the day, cleaned everyday, and provided for their children at home. Susie home-maker. That's me. So even though many do not understand and clearly make their opinions known to me, I have to shut it all off. My role as a wife is to love my husband and to be submissive to him. My role in general is to love God and serve others. By me becoming a "domesticated wife" is my way of being able to do these roles with due diligence. I feel I am best loving my husband when I can make sure our house is a home for him to come to after a hard day. I believe I am best serving my God by spending quality time with Him and allowing myself to have an open schedule to volunteer maybe at church. That is my rant for today. I am going to try and do better at updating this blog more. If nothing else, it does give me something to do and perhaps can help others out there too. Until next time!