Guitars and Coffee

Tonight my friend had a show at a coffee shop. These times have started to become the times that I look most forward to. You never know who you are going to meet at these things, and plus the music in the background is awesome too! This particular friend, I am most proud of. I believe I have been to every show he has ever played since I met him and his talent never seems to old. I would even say that with every show, he gets better and better at it. The same songs are sung, and I love that I can sing along now too. It's moments like these that warm my heart. I can look around at a group of people most of whom I don't know, but they are all there to support the same person. Everyone is carrying in their own conversations, but no one is in a bad mood. Who goes to a concert in a bad mood?? Maybe someone, but a lot of the people I know, don't. At least not to local shows like this one. Everyone has a great time. I laugh and wonder if having thoughts like this make me sound like an old grandma. You know the kind of older ladies who end up just sitting back people-watching, not paying any attention to anyone in particular, just enjoying the moment. I like having those moments. If it makes me sound old, oh well! I am glad that I get to go to bed tonight feeling that I have lived today to its extent. And to my talented friend, keep on rocking out...I will never grow tired of hearing you play!! Love you and goodnight.

Shadows

I had a great epiphany come to me while I was sitting at work today. I am excited to be the shadow of my husband. I am not married now, and I can't say I want to be married tomorrow. I do think I have reached a point in my life where I know more about myself and I am ready to be in a relationship that is headed towards marriage. It's amazing how much more I feel I know about myself even from just last year. But I'm getting off track. I was gazing outside at all the trees around and the shadows from them that move as the wind moves the trees. And I started thinking about how with every minute of the day, those shadows move as the sun moves. It reminded me of a husband and wife. Shadows can be like seasons in life. I can use my friends as an example right now since I have so many that are near and dear to me. I love for my friends to be right beside me sometimes in things in my life...there is a point where you may be walking outside and your shadow is directly next to you. There are other times when you need friends to push you a little, and be behind you. Then I need times where I want to be the follower...you get the point. This is how I want to be for my husband. I know that most men want to know that no matter what, their spouse is going to stick beside them, but I like the thought that sometimes they need their wife to give them a little push and support and they always need to be the leader of the relationship. Just a thought I had today...and I liked it :)

Blue Skies

I am just in awe of how blue the sky can be. I feel as though with each new day, the sky can be a totally different shade of blue every time. I absolutely LOVE IT! I just finished putting me son-of-a-gun desk together in my new office. I decided to set up the desk so that I can look out the window at those blue ridge mountains. I have the window open so that I may breathe fresh air. It's awesome..truly awesome. Don't you love that little warm feeling you get in your heart when you can look out your window and just feel "home". I love that where I am right now....where I am living..it's home.

Daydream or God?

I will start staring off into space most of the time..ha...but my mind starts taking me down what I think might be daydreams. Sometimes I can really work myself up over nothing. I may reminisce about a past time, or think about things to come. But I'm starting to wonder if some of these things are actually God speaking to me. For instance, I start thinking about a person and decide to pray for them. I could pray for some specific that I may think is crazy. I could start praying for someone about traveling. I was thinking about someone the other day and starting praying that if God wanted to move them, as hard as it is for me to watch friends move away, for God to move them to where they would be happy and do His will. Later that day I find out that person had circumstances come up that could lead them to move. I remember as I was letting my mind go on about what life would be like without that person, I became really sad. I started getting to the verge of tears. I blinked a few times, and blamed it on the sad Dave Matthews song playing in the background. I started thinking how silly I was to pray about that, but I still did...Are my daydreams merely daydreams or still moments where I allow God to speak?? Either way it can be cool to see I prayed for something that could be taking place but then I also start to think I am going crazy. What do you think?

House Full of Laughter

This past weekend was one of my greatest friends birthdays. I find such joy in giving birthday parties for my friends. Birthdays in my family were never gone unnoticed. I got my love of party planning from my dad. He was famous for throwing the ultimate parties. I have definitely been blessed in all my wonderful birthday parties. Not having him around during my birthday now has been a huge adjustment. Anyway, back to my friend's birthday... we had a great group of people at my house after we went out to eat. I love nothing more than having a house full of people laughing. That night I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time. And I love the kind of laughing where your head and stomach start to hurt so bad and yet you still can't stop laughing. There were so many interesting conversations that were brought up that night and somehow, everything was hilarious! I just loved it so much, I wanted to write about it :)

Bad Decision

I feel that I can sometimes be the queen of bad decisions. I put my mind to do something, and I do it. Normally, I can over-analyze things and make a pro and con list...but for some reason, not when it comes to a bad decision. I become impulsive and "brave". Last night, I made some bad decisions. I am not confident, nor honest enough to post on here what exactly those decisions were; I will just tell you, it wasn't pretty. Due to a dumb phone call (from whom I won't mention) I decided to lash out in a way that definitely did not show Christ. I knew I was acting in a way that was just plain dumb. I am thankful for God's grace, but it's like I took total advantage of that fact. "I will totally get God's grace for this, so I'll just be dumb for one night". Yeah...not so sure that God loves that at all. I spent the morning on my way to work, confessing sin and asking for forgiveness, and I did truly mean it. I guess I write this as a reminder not only to myself, but to others, we aren't technically allowed "grace periods" as we may design them ourselves. God's grace doesn't mean we can just consciously decide to do something bad or wrong in the moment knowing that God can forgive us later. I believe that God's grace is there because we are just sinful people. If it weren't for God's grace to have His Son die for us, but then raise from the dead so we could be saved as well...where would we be?? So before you decide to make that bad decision and decide to not care that we are still Christians, remember that perhaps no one else can see you, but who wants to disappoint their Father??

From the Balcony

My deck has one amazing view! Some would disagree, but I like it. I especially like to come out on warm summer nights when all is quiet. I do live on a fairly busy street, but even the traffic flow does not bother me. Amazingly enough, I can see the stars out clearly. I can see the mountains with the sunset colors behind them. I even enjoy the many post lights that are around my neighborhood. It makes it feel very Pleasantville. The only sounds I really hear are crickets chirping, and air conditioning units humming. That may not sound peaceful to all, but I like it! The loudest sound is coming from me typing this entry. I do a lot of deep thinking out here by myself. I think about life and where God may be taking me next. What will He have me to do tomorrow? Will tomorrow be better than today? Can I make it through these changes happening in my life? I remember my dad. I go back to memories of my childhood. I wonder who will be the next person to call or text me haha. Silly things. Should I go inside and have ice cream? What can I wear those new shoes with? Should I change my hair AGAIN?! Point is...there is something to be said about going to a quiet outside place where it's just you and nature. Your mind can be flooded with so much, yet some nights I don't think of anything. Yes, I am a woman and sometimes I do not have a single thought, go figure! Just thought I'd share a few words from the balcony :)